just this night
minds were in a confused and messy state since your ex who's sitting right in front of you have requested to have a deep and open talk to you before letting it all go.
things didn't worked out even the both of you tried and there's nothing you could do about it— something he couldn't accept, because it felt like the two of you weren't just meant to be together to begin with.
there are some things that's needed to be accepted the way it is but for jimin, it was too hard especially if he had loved you more than anything.
he doesn't want to let you go and was afraid of you moving on or have someone to replace him. the two of you know it was the hardest but the best way to make your hearts completely free was to end the special relationship you had with him.
it hurts, it really does but the fact that leaving everything behind was the only choice, you have to do it even if you didn't want to.
you don't know if it was the timing that's gone wrong or it was already the person.
but just like what they said, if it's really for you, you'd still end up having it but will now remain forever. deep down in your heart you wanted jimin to come back once the time was right but as of now, it just doesn't felt right.
you knew it was tough and letting him go also was the toughest but then again, there's nothing you can do about it. no matter how happy it was from the start and before it ended, you can't force something that's never meant to be yours forever.
you were moving on after it's been a year but jimin wasn't even at the part of acceptance. he wanted for you to come back but you didn't want to since there's still a slight pain in your heart and you were scared that it'll lead you to the point where everything would end once again.
"y/n, talk to me. please." this made your heart clench tightly, making it hard for you to breathe without a pain going along with your exhalation. you can't even look at those eyes, not hoping for a chance, but begging.
"jimin, i told you already. no matter what we do, we always end up like this." he tilted his head back a little with his eyes tightly shut; he couldn't accept and even if he could, he doesn't want to.
"then let's try one more time." he insisted, his hand balled into a fist against the island table.
"aren't you tired? we've tried so many times before." i finally looked at him in the eyes— madness, hopeless and broken could be seen.
"i was goddamn tired the whole time but i never thought of leaving you like you did." he sobbed, tears weren't coming out from his eyelids because he knew he meant what he said.
there's nothing you could say so you remained silent in your seat, taking all of in what he said. it suddenly made you feel selfish. he was tired and you were too, but jimin stayed throughout.
"we can start over again." you couldn't help but to get annoyed. he needs to accept the truth because he's going to get stucked and you don't want that. jimin deserved the best also.
"y/n- listen, we're going to work things out- just, please!" he's getting frustrated trying to convice you but you had enough. what the both of you had been through was enough.
"jimin," you called that made your eyes met his. shaking your head in defeat and tiredness, his eyes softened. he knew what you meant by that. his plump lips formed into a small pout before he rushed into your arms— seeming to be the last time you'd ever hold him.
tonight, he's about to let go of someone who once became his home. someone he pictured his future with. it ended up a year ago but this was the most painful.
the day you left him hurt but tonight couldn't compare when the two of you finally speaking out the words that left unsaid a year ago. it hurts but still a relief that you're moving on with him knowing everything that he had left in your mind and heart.
"tell me you'll find someone else and be happy." you mumbled against his chest, his embrace telling you he wasn't letting go. although he wasn't unsure, he spoke like he was.
"i will." those tears coming out from him would probably drench your shirt. with your hands resting on his back, you swayed side by side as a comfort for him. even your feet was aching already at its place, you didn't pulled away.
jimin needed this, you thought and this might be the last time. his hot breath was brushing against the crook of your neck, you felt him getting tired since you could feel his weight resting onto your arms.
"can't we just stay like this forever?" he questioned, my heart seeming to be stolen away just to be broken into pieces because of what he asked.
"can't it be just you instead?" you shut your eyes and tried the pain to not take a whole of your body. he pulled away unexpectedly, eyes swollen and cheeks puffy. he tucked few of your hair and cupped your cheeks.
"promise me when you find someone new, always tell me about him." frowning at what he requested, you nodded once. "you too."
but your words seemed to be wrong for him since he shook his head with a small and sad smile.
"i don't think i'll find someone new, because i knew i'd always think and talk about you."
"jimin.." you started but he only pulled you again in his arms, his scent playing with your mind. you can't deny and missed everything about him but there are some things that's going to be better in this way.
"would you please spend the night here with me?" you looked up at him with the here we go again look. "please? this would be our last night."
you sighed in defeat and gave in with his last request. the two of you went upstairs to his bedroom where pictures of you with him remained in frames, memories flashed back around the room as you lay down with him on the bed with his head resting on your chest; his ear listening to your heart beat to make him fall asleep while you're softly playing with his hair.
"y/n," he called. his voice was now raspy from crying earlier. you hummed, eyes still staring above the ceiling.
"can i ask two last favors from you?" you wondered what would it be this time. he didn't waited for your answer and just told you what it was.
"when you leave tomorrow morning, make sure i was asleep. okay? so it wouldn't be harder than it already was for me." it was final, he was now starting to let go. your heart clenched at the thought of how hard it was for him.
"yeah sure."
"and for the last time, please tell me that you love me." he sniffed, the coldness was making him shiver that's why you pulled him closer just like in old times.
"i love you jimin, so much." those words were what he wanted and needed to hear after you left and before he close his eyes and drift into a sleep where tomorrow he'd wake up only to find himself no longer in your arms, telling himself it wasn't a dream but a reality.
you lost each other forever and even though it ended, this boy would always have a place in your heart that no one else could replace.
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