Grey & Green (Harry Styles AU)

21. Riptide

“I don’t get you at all,” I tell Harry who’s too busy glaring at Ally to try and make conversation with me.

“What?” He finally drags his eyes away from her to look at me.

“I just don’t understand you and Ally.” Ally and Harry’s relationship confuses me to no end. Sometimes they’re fine with each other and they talk and laugh and even sleep with each other and then they hate each other to death. The thing is that it all changes too fast, they get mad at each for the simplest things and they make up two seconds later.

“There is no me and Ally,” he assertively, his eyes once set on Ally’s.

“Well you guys keep sleeping together so you have to at least have some kind of connection.”

He completely ignores me but I know he heard because he stiffened a little with my words. I should’ve expected it because when he doesn’t wanna talk about something he either shoots it down or pretends he didn’t hear a thing. It annoys me so much cause it feels like we only talk about what he wants and when he wants to and that’s not what we should be about. He’s my friend and I should be able to talk to him about everything. I need to.

“Harry, can you tell me about you and Ally?”

His green eyes focus on mine and he frowns before sighing. “There is no me and Ally,” he repeats.

“Harry-“

“Why are you pushing this?” He interrupts me.

“Because I want to know you, and don’t tell me that I already do. When I say that I want to know you I mean every part of you, not just the parts you want me to see. I get it that it’s hard to let someone all the way in, but you have too.”

He stares at me and then nods his head. “Fine,” he huffs. “There’s really not that much to tell. I met Ally in freshman year, she was hot and she was looking to have fun. We f.ucked and it was pretty decent so we did it a few more times. She can be pretty cool, but she can also be an annoying bitch. You never know what you’re gonna get with her, most people think that’s what makes her so much fun, but I just think she’s f.ucking crazy.”

Does he not see that sometimes he’s like that too? I never know what I’m going to get with him, sure he’s not as bad as her, but he does have his mood swings.

“You think she’s crazy yet you keep going back to her.”

“I never go to her, she’s the one who comes to me,” he snaps and his green eyes turn into a darker shade.

“You can always say no, yet you almost never do.” I should probably shut up because I know I’m getting on his last nerve, but we have to talk about this eventually and there’s no point in pushing it off.

“I was starting to say no, I was finally getting myself together,” he says, his voice more quiet than before. “I was trying really hard to be better, but then I spent those two weeks without you and it all went downhill.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was with you, I didn’t feel the need to get drunk or f.uck every girl around me. But the moment we stopped talking all of those urges came back stronger than ever. It’s like you were filling a void and the moment you left you made my life feel so much more empty.”

I’m a bit shocked to realize my importance in Harry’s life, but happy nonetheless to know that I mean just as much to him as he does to me.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, you’re making me better all over again. Just don’t leave me and I think I’ll be fine.”

I smile at him. “I won’t leave unless you want me to.”