Grey & Green (Harry Styles AU)

20. Angels

I swallow harshly at Harry’s mention of his parents. I wonder what they were like toward him and what role they played in making him the way he is.  He tells me things like the fact that every time he failed at something he would get a rigorous punishment and every time he tried to talk to them about something that was bothering him they would either ignore him or demand that he would shut up. By the tone he uses when talking about them I’m guessing he’s not very fond of his parents and rightfully so.

“But you loved them anyway, right?”

He ignores my question. “Tell me more about your parents,” he suggests.

I could talk about them for hours, they were my absolute favorite people. So I tell Harry all about my life before. My mom’s cooking and how I wanted to be just like her once I grew up; my dad’s stupid annoying singing of Christmas songs even in the summer when Christmas couldn’t be further away; my brother Dave and how he always tried to pull pranks on me which never really worked out cause I was always five steps ahead of him; mine and John’s nights laying on our backyard looking up at the stars. And most importantly I told him all about when our family all got together for dinner. Dinner was my favorite part of the day no matter what I’ll always remember how loud and happy everyone was when sitting at the kitchen table.

“Do you miss them a lot?” he asks.

“I miss them too much.”

“What happened to them was really unfair. They were good people especially your little brother, they didn’t deserve to die.”

Strangely enough I don’t feel like crying like I normally do when I talk or even think about them. Talking this through with Harry makes me feel like maybe it does get better. I’ll always miss them, but maybe I’ll miss them with a little less pain every day.

“What was it like?”

“What? When I found out they had died?” he nods stiffly. “It was the worse day of my life. I’ve had a lot of hard days but none compare to that one. That was the day my entire life fell apart, and I just knew that from the moment my aunt told me that Dave and my parents had died in a car crash, nothing was ever gonna be the same. And I was right, from then on everything changed.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine the pain you must’ve felt losing three people you loved so much.”

 “Yeah, it was really awful and it was so unexpected. It took me a long time to accept it.” He stands up and picks me up bridal style. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to bed,” he says matter of factly. I would’ve said that I could walk but to be honest I prefer that he carries me. He does it effortlessly anyway, so why bother.

“Thanks. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep though.”

“Me neither. Let’s just lay there and talk.”

He gently sets me on the bed and falls back next to me. We lay there just telling each other childhood stories most of them funny ones but there also a few somber ones that we remember all too well. Harry tells me about how growing up he always thought he would be a soccer player and I let him know a bit more about my singer song-writer aspirations. My heart breaks a little knowing that our dreams will most likely never come true.

Eventually I fall asleep to the beat of his heart with my head laying on his chest.

***

 Wake up to the sound of my phone ringing I ignore it at first too sleepy to pick up but once I realize the person who’s trying to call me will just keep trying I get up and clumsily look for my phone.