Secrets

Part Five: OML -- X

April 1, 2016

When Chester returned home, it was to much less pomp and circumstance than Mike thought he deserved. Mike wanted to scream from the rooftops, throw a parade, have a party in honor of his best friend coming back, but the day passed quietly; a tender reunion with family, a soft spoken phone call to Mike, and a quick group text message to the band.

Mike was climbing the walls with suppressed anticipation, and his fidgeting hands finally drove Anna to banish him upstairs to the studio instead of forcing them all to suffer through his distraction during dinner. He spent the hours waiting for Chester to call working in ProTools, aligning demos and looping beats, preparing the past few months' work for Chester's inevitable return to the studio. Every so often he would look at his watch, surprised when the time had passed quickly, though it felt as if it were crawling.

At a little past seven he picked up his phone and looked for the hundredth time at Chester's eleven a.m. message from that morning. Coming home today. I'll call you when I can. Mike sighed, frustrated and impatient, as he put the phone back down next to his keyboard. I won't even get to talk to him long, I'm sure. The kids have missed him. Talinda. God, Talinda. I don't know how she's kept it together without him, when I've been such a mess.

Mike paused, looking at the computer screen as he mulled things over. He and Chester had been separated almost three months. Three long, agonizing months of radio silence, save for that notebook. At least I had that. I don't know if I could have kept myself from going to him if he hadn't sent that to me. His gaze shifted from the screen to the notebook next to it and back again. I've got every word memorized at this point. I've made songs and I have no idea what he'll say. If he'll even want to use any of it. What if he hates it all? What if I totally missed the mark? Or... if he's not in that place anymore, and doesn't want to be reminded of it?

He shook his head. If that were the case, he'd never be able to sing anything off our first three albums anymore. Or anything, ever. It's all so... personal. Every one of our songs is his story. My story. Our story. It's our whole history.

Mike glanced down the list of working song titles, pulled from Chester's own words scrawled in the notebook. So much had been done without the vocalist, and it felt strange. It's like I'm handing him a completed album and all he has to do is come in and sing.

The jingle of his phone jarred him from his thoughts and he fumbled with it clumsily in his excitement, almost dropping it before swiping right and breathlessly saying into the phone, "Chester!"

There was a small chuckle on the other end of the line and then, "Mikey! God, it's good to hear your voice."

The smile on Mike's face was so wide it hurt as he spun around in his desk chair and leapt up, crossing the room to the windows he'd started blankly out of so many times while Chester was in rehab. "I don't think we've ever been so long without talking to each other," Mike started, his voice on a higher pitch than normal as he babbled excitedly. "We've got so much to talk about, when can I see you? Oh, God, you've got to come over and listen to the demos, that notebook you sent me? I've been writing songs and me and Brad got some of them started, and I'm dying to know what you think! We should have coffee, and breakfast, and the guys will be so happy you're home, Chester, we've missed you!" Mike's words came to an abrupt stop as he realized the other side of the call was silent, and he rushed to say, "Ches? Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," Chester replied. There was a beat of silence before he said, "I'll send the guys a text, but I want to see you first. I... you really have songs ready?"

It wasn't hard to heard the tone of apprehension in Chester's voice. "Well, you know... not ready. They're never ready until we've all touched them," Mike said carefully, his excitement waning a little. "I just meant that I've got stuff I want you to hear. But I know there's stuff to talk about other than work." He waited, and when Chester didn't reply, he went on, "if you're ready. I'm always here to listen, when you're ready. Or if you're never ready," he was sure to add.