Secrets

Part One: MTM -- Dependence

[November 22, 2007]

"I should probably head home," Talinda murmured softly, one hand still holding a teacup, the other arm wrapped around Tyler, who was asleep on her chest. "I think he wore himself out." She smiled fondly over the top of the baby's head, pressing her lips to his crown, her eyes meeting Anna's. "It's been so great to hang out this afternoon and chat."

"We really do need to get together more often," Anna agreed. "I just don't want to move from this chair. Ever." Feet propped up and leaning back slightly in Mike's recliner was about as comfortable as Anna was able to get at 37 weeks pregnant.

Talinda giggled. "I remember those days. You're so close now!" She rubbed light circles on the baby's back and sighed. "Just having someone else to talk to... it makes the days seem shorter, you know?"

Anna nodded, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth before she said, "I'm sure the days will seem even longer once he arrives." Looking down at her stomach, Anna frowned for a moment. "Tal... I'm afraid of doing this alone. They're away so much..."

Between baby talk and birth stories, Anna and Talinda had chatted about their husbands casually, the remaining tour dates, and how Mike had already hinted at starting the next album soon. They would be away in two more huge chunks of time before they wrapped up touring this album, and the baby would be four months old before Mike was back for any significant amount of time. The whole idea seemed particularly daunting as Anna listened to Talinda talk of Tyler's early days-- late night feedings, waking up every few hours, and now the teething... it sounded like so much.

"I don't want to seem... ungrateful..." she went on, glancing around the room. "I mean, I'm so proud of Mike, and all of the band's success... but... it just feels as though I'll be single momming it so much of the time, even though I'm married."

Talinda smiled gently as she set her tea cup on the side table, careful not to wake Tyler. "There are days it feels that way, I'm not going to lie. It can be pretty lonely. But we have each other... and really, we should have Linsey over, too, you guys are due around the same time... and Elisa in March." Talinda grinned suddenly and laughed as she realized, "you can definitely tell when the guys were home from tour! It's a Linkin Park baby boom!"

Anna's eyes widened as she thought about all the pregnancies in the band, realizing for the first time how close together the three Linkin Park wives babies would be, how the lack of coincidence was undeniable. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before. It warmed her heart a bit to think that all of the guys missed their wives while out on tour. They were all such sweet, good-hearted, loyal men, not like typical rock stars. It escaped her at the moment that Chester was on his third 'baby mama', not that it seemed to matter much to anyone in the band, or to Talinda.

"Just think of it this way," Talinda's sincere voice broke into Anna's thoughts, "it's an opportunity for us to become closer. We'll all need each other. And wouldn't it be great if all the wives could share the same relationships that our husbands share?" Instantly, Anna was back to worrying her bottom lip with her teeth again, a furrow in her brow, and Talinda picked up on the instant change in demeanor when she'd mentioned relationships. "What's wrong? All of a sudden, you look upset."

Stroking over her stomach in lazy circles, Anna looked thoughtfully at Talinda, weighing her thoughts of what she suspected against what she knew, unsure if she should say anything. The sketch she'd found of Chester the night before Mike left out on tour again had been troubling her since that morning, and she hadn't had to courage to ask Mike about it when he came downstairs that morning, all smiles and kisses as he slowly woke up over the coffee she'd made. She couldn't get out of her mind the intricacy of Mike's work, the detailing, the odd angle that made the entire drawing seem so intimate.