Princes and Assassins

V

~~ 3 weeks later (Sorry) ~~

I had sent a letter to Janus. It was weird, not seeing him for months but he is going to be king a lot sooner than me. This means he has a lot more duties to attend to and can't come and hang out anymore, like we used to. This meant that I was spending the majority of my time with Roman.

Janus and I did the stupidest things. We raced down the polished castle staircases, or stole brownies from the kitchen. We even broke into father's study and "decorated" his model of the kingdom. We were caught for that one, Dammit! Luckily Patton just said that we couldn't have any more cookies for a month. We also sprayed the maids and other staff with water from buckets we would fill. I think that I smiled more back then, then I ever have now. But, it was so much easier when we were kids.

Now, back to Roman.

Remember him, the good looking servant, well guess what... Although he is quite infuriating with his ever growing ego and non-stop fantasising, he can actually be a lot of fun to be around. He can come up with the most creative stories and I thoroughly enjoy picking out all the dark parts of them. I don't know anymore if it's because I pleasure the overthinking aspect of analysing the tales, or that I get a kick out of seeing him infuriated when I point out a dark theme or a flaw in the plot.

We were currently in my room sitting and talking.
"You know Brad Pitiful, you ask me so many questions, what's your hobby?"
"Me?" I questioned. I didn't really want to tell him, he might judge me. Wait! When did I start caring about what he thought?! Never mind, answer the question before he thinks you're a weirdo with no life. "I like music, I guess."
"Really?" He lit up with glee and I felt my chest warm. "Can you play any instruments?"
"Uh... I can play the ukulele. My Father's friend, Joan, taught me."
"You must play me something." He said getting excited again. "You see, I sing."
"Of course you do."
"What does that mean?"
"Well Sir-Sing-A-Lot, of course you sing. You act brave and are probably really good at singing. I have also heard you humming a couple of times, even if it's different. To be honest, I think you should be in my place, serenading maidens. I mean you're practically perfect in every way."

I joked but I could tell that I meant some of it. We sat there in a comfortable silence. That was something we had made an unspoken agreement about. Roman was great like that....

Oh God Fudging Dammit! I have gone and got a bloody crush on him. (Patton has made to much of an impact on me. I don't even swear in my head anymore.) The boy who probably only thinks of me as his boss, someone who society wouldn't deem acceptable for us to even speak to each other casually, The talented, good looking Roman. Of all the people on this god forsaken world. Really, he is my choice? I must be mad. I can hear Patton chorus: Madly in loooovvveee. Oh, what would he think, what would Logan think? What would father think!?

He probably doesn't even return the feelings anyway, I mean why would anyone. I'm, well, me and he's him! And right before the wedding as well. This is just fantastic. What am I supposed to do.

I don't know how long we had been sitting together in silence for, but Roman and I both seemed to finish our separate mental debates and Roman quickly left.

I am now hyper aware of his every movement. Maybe I have always been hyper aware of everything action he makes. Oh! What have I become?

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Thank you very much for reading. I hope this was ok. I am going to be forever alone for the rest of my life but this is similar to the internal conflict that I have with myself. This may not be accurate to you but it is to me.
Now this is obviously not the full extent of it, but who actually ever shares all their issues. Let me know what you think. Have a wonderful day everyone.

-SiD