Princes and Assassins

VI

It's been just under a month, and I really should have killed Virgil by now.

Originally it was the difficulty of getting him to use me as a servant, and he still won't but now I don't know if I am happy that he hasn't given me an easy opportunity. Eventually we started to trust each other though. He confessed all his insecurities to me, after a panic attack that he had once. I walked in and comforted him the whole way through. It turns out that he is just a scared person who doesn't want to disappoint. This made me understand him more. He didn't want to be judged, or judged more than he already was. Everyone seems to think that he does something wrong.

I have started to care about Virgil. I even vaguely described my problems like wanting to be the best and problems with "family". I really mean my brother's questionable personality, but I wasn't going to say that. This, bonding I guess, brought us closer together. However, it's still incredibly inconvenient as I am supposed to kill him. I have had quite a few opportunities now. Virgil has turned his back on me too many times. And it's even easier because I can make him so flustered that he is a blushing mess. It would be so easy to just do it-

But I can't!

I can't, for the life of me, do it. I just can't seem to focus enough. It makes me sick to the stomach when thinking about killing him. I can't go weak! And it's only him. Why him? Why only him?

Remus is starting to get tired of this. He keeps on insisting that it's taking too long. I wasn't aware that we had a deadline but apparently it's coming ever closer. I can't explain my feelings in my reports so I have no excuse for him.

Come on Roman! Think! What are these feelings?
-I guess I think he looks kind of pretty.
-I fell elated whenever I hear him laugh .
-I am filled with joy whenever I see him.
-I always want to be near or around him.
-I love his personality.
-I love...

I love him.
No! No! No!

I'm head over heals! I will never be able to kill him now. And the worst part is that there is no chance he would ever feel the same. He's a Prince! And he will soon be crowned king. There is probably a vast line for the people who will want him. They will want him for his power and my love will never get a chance. Come on Roman, be creative here.

I spent some time thinking whilst waiting for Virgil to come back after talking with the royal baker, Patton. He seemed like a kind man but I hadn't had the chance to speak to him properly. I eventually came to the conclusion to tell the Prince my feelings.

I mean he is never actually going to return them so my idea is to tell him. He will let me down, so I can move on, and he might even fire me. This is perfect because I then have an excuse of why I can't kill Virgil.

As soon as he comes back I will do it. Luckily I have never become nervous in these situations. I think of it as a role I'm playing. One of the things Virgil was interested about was my love for theatre. This is barely acting. The only act here is the confidence.

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Hello everyone. I hope this was ok. Please let me know if I need to change anything. Thank you all so much for voting and reading this book. This keeps me going and helps me with my lack of confidence. You are all awesome and have a good day.

-SiD