Hope is a Dangerous Thing [EDITING]

Chapter Twenty-Three

I rubbed my head as I awoke once more. It seemed like we hadn't even moved but I was in a hospital bed restrained. My neck was in a brace as I expected and I moved more sluggishly as I tired to get up. Dean sighed as I gave Dean a small smile. But he moved completely away from me. I sighed as I turned away from his face. Dean sighed as he placed a hand on my shoulder. I sighed as well but it came out as more of a wheeze than anything else. Cas shot a look over up at me as I looked into his eyes. Cas sighed as he looked me over.

    He looked like he was hell bent on killing me and I wouldn't blame him. I would love to kill myself to. I shook my head as I looked into his eyes Cas shook his head more as I shifted in my seat. Sam gave me a smile which was better than the murder looks everyone else gave me. I would want to let everyone kill me. I shifted in my own seat more.

    "Noah...it's only been a few months. It is going to be okay. No one is going to kill you."

    But they should. I'm a fucking monster, I shook my head as I wrung my hands in mine.

    Then where would we go? We can't go to anyone else after you die, Kurt's voice was loud and proud anymore.

    I am a danger to society. I can't go on more and more like this. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do now that I killed Dean.

    You didn't kill Dean. You just wounded him but you guys are completely tired and it was an accident.

    An accident that could've killed him. I don't want to do the to anyone else. I can't have that happen to anyone else. It hurts too much. It hurts me too much.

    Come on, Kurt sighed a little bit as he moved around in my head a little bit more. He's not going to hold that against you for the rest of your life, you know?

    I don't have a life if he's no longer in it and if I end up accidentally killing someone.

    I shook my head as I turned towards Dean. A sigh left my mouth as I looked into his eyes. He was defiantly pissed off. He was pushed away from me. He wasn't touching me at all. He didn't even want to look me. But to be honest, I didn't even want to look at me. I sighed once more as I shifted in my seat. I didn't want to move because everyone seemed to be tense. I looked down as I shifted in my own spot more. I turned to James who also seemed to be pissed the fuck off.

    I didn't want to move. The anger in my heart hung in my chest. Dean seemed to be a little bit more pissed off than what I thought it was. I shifted in my own seat as I looked into his eyes. Dean didn't even want to look me in the eyes. I sighed a little bit more as all I wanted to do is kill myself. But I literally couldn't. Dean smiled a little bit as he looked over at his brother.

    "Want to get us some food," Dean turned to me, his own face hardening as he looked me over. "Except not you. You get liquids for the next few weeks while your neck heals."

    I wanted to kick his ass. If he had only agreed to kill me. We wouldn't want me to die but I don't think I should be a terrible person for wanting to not be a danger to everyone. I shook my own head as I looked into his eyes. He shook his own head as I looked away from all of them. I didn't want to be a little shit to everyone around me. I shook my own head as I turned away from him.

    Dean stood up as I looked into his eyes. He rubbed his shoulder. He shook his head as I moved away from him. He sighed a little bit as I moved away from him. His gaze was ever growing as he moved away from me. I let out a soft sigh as I looked into his eyes. Dean looked me over and sighed more as I tired to wake up. I felt the awkwardness in the room. I wanted to completely tired.