Fifty Shades of Lingerie

10| The Kiss

"I want to talk to Jackson." She said quickly and confidently not letting her mother get it her.

"You know I will never let that happen Kathrine." She said making Kats heart twist with longing to see her little brother.

"I want to at least talk to him, he's my fucking brother." She raised her voice in the phone.

"No he's not your brother. You lost him when you decided to show your body all over like some slut. You disgraced this family and you disgraced our name. You will never talk to him again."

"I understand you don't want to associate with me. You made that point very clear when you and dad disowned me. And trust me I don't want to be apart of any family with you. But Jackson, I just wanna talk to him." she bit her lip hard and squeezed her eyes shut hard.

For a moment she wished she'd opened her eyes to a reality where her mother wasn't broken by a man who couldn't stick around, or she was struck by doing everything to get the picture perfect powerful life. The same perfect life that destroyed her and Kats relationship.

She wanted to open her eyes to her family, with her little bother, and her mom, all smiling. Not trying to be perfect, but being together and loving. Creating our own perfect.

She opened her eyes again and remember she could never have that. All she had was a cold phone pressing against her cheek, and distant shell that was once her mother on the other side.

"You disgust me. Jackson is perfectly happy without his deviant sister in his life. He doesn't need to know you, no one does. Never call here again, I'm hoping people will start thinking you're dead" she spat her words at Kat like poison. The line went cold and she was only welcomed by a hallow 'beep beep beep' that felt a thousand miles away.

She lowered the phone from her ear and looked at a spot on the couch, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

She heard the door handle move and Kat quickly blinked away the rest of the pooling tears. She swiped the tear away and looked at her phone.

She stared at her phone and tried to mask the sad expression on her face but she didn't know if the dull broken look in her eyes was masked.

She looked up when Ryder walked in holding a plate of powdery French toast and a large portfolio.

She knew those were the prints but she could hardly even muster excitement to see them.

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "what's wrong?" He said in his natural gruff voice.

It took her back a second that he one, could even tell she was upset, and two, cared at all.

"W-what? Oh I'm not just really hungry, give me those." She desperately pulled together any enthusiasm in her voice leaning over and making grabby hands for the plate.

"But these were mine- " he mumbled under his breath looking at the plate before looking up at her, he let out a sigh "yeah whatever, btw I got the prints. I'm gonna drop them off tonight."

He said and set the portfolio down on the island then walked over to her with the plate.

She pulled at the end of her skirt and said, "mhm" dismissively, her mind was in other places.

He lowered the plate down to her and she looked up going to grab it.

He pulled it away swiftly and set it down before she reached it. She knitted her eyebrows together confused but before she could respond he sat down and pulled her into his lap.

She straddled him and set her hands on his chest, shooting him a confused look.

"What's wrong." He said more persistently staring intently into her eyes with his dark ones. She felt herself yearn to just break down as his arms wrapped around her waist. she wanted to cry and not stop crying till her wishful dream of a family was a reality.

She stared at Ryder's lip and knew that's what she needed. Something different pulled at her stomach and made her breathing hitch.

"I didn't know you even cared." She mumbled and gripped his shirt. She was scared because she felt herself becoming vulnerable right now and she didn't like it. She wanted to curl up right here and spill her tears all over his shirt.

Even scarier he seemed like he wouldn't mind. She wanted his lips, she wanted to drown her sorrows in his lips.

"Surprise." He said softly and reached up cupping her cheek. She closed her eyes sadly and leaned into his touch. What was she getting herself into.

He rubbed his thumb over her parted lips. He traced her smooth bottom lip before leaning forward. She felt his breath fan across her face. She opened her eyes and casted her sad longing gaze into his eyes.

He seemed to be battling something, she wanted to kiss him.

Whatever he was battling he seemed to sigh and give in, grabbing her face he pulled her onto his lips.

~•~