𝑨 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝑶𝒏 / 𝑱.𝑱𝑲 ✔️

Chapter 12

(JUNGKOOK POV)

I almost kissed her...

The thumping in my chest went at the speed of light and it was almost impossible for me to breathe.

She must hate me now...

Why did I let myself get so close!?

The white curtains that hung above my open window rustled in the soft breeze blowing through my room.

Will she think of me as a pervert now?
The thought alone made me shudder.

What if she will view me as something predatory?

I tightly gripped my hair in my hands.

I never meant to take it so far...

What frightens me more is that if I did kiss her, I don't know if I could stop. I don't know if I would escalate the situation to a point of no return.

I sat down on my bed, the mattress sinking from under me.

All these years of suppressing my true desires... they've done quite the job on me...

I feel like a balloon about to burst.

Everyday I'm reminded of my longing, craving for her.

Today my feelings won over logic and reasoning...

She must feel violated.

Can she ever forgive me?

How much damage has been done?

ꕥ

(Y/N POV)

I feel rejected...

My worst nightmare is for Jungkook to reject me.

I'd rather not confess at all if it meant avoiding his rejection.

The thing is, I didn't even say anything...

But he pulled away without hesitation and it broke my heart.

I was in my room, sitting on my bed, staring at the wall.

Any and all ambitions I had before were sucked out of me.

The dissociation I felt now was like no other...

I knew I wouldn't come back to my body for a long time.

I just couldn't..
I couldn't take it..

ꕥ

(JUNGKOOK POV)

It's been a few days now, and my world was completely thrown upside down.

Seeing Y/n like this was the worst punishment of all.

I thought I was in hell...

She doesn't talk, doesn't eat, doesn't move.

She won't even look at me.

I have to hand feed her food and water, help her walk to the bathroom.

She needs to get professional help but I'm so scared... what if they take her away?

My insurance only covers so much, we can't afford the hospitalization bills... but I'd throw all of my money away if it meant that it would help her.

I don't know what to do.

Her vegetative state came on overnight ever since I almost.. kissed her.

The guilt weighed on me like an anchor, deteriorating my fogged up mind.

All I can do is stand by this door frame and check on her..

I walked over to Y/n and sat crisscrossed beside her.

Jungkook:Y/n?

I sighed.

Jungkook:I wish you would talk to me. I miss hearing your voice...
I caressed her hair.

A tear rolled down her cheek, to which I quickly wiped it away with my thumb.

Talking to her was like talking to a wall.

Jungkook:I really care about you, Y/n...I hope you know that.

As each day passed, my desperation strengthened.

I had to excuse myself, putting my head in my hands while I cried in my room.

When I came back in, Y/n was in the same exact position before I left.

I took a shaky breath and continued to talk to her.

The mental exhaustion was so severe, it affected me physically and I ended up talking myself to sleep right on her bed.

In the morning, Y/n was already awake, like usual.

Jungkook:good morning... I-I'm sorry I fell asleep here. I hope you were able to sleep despite it.
I said shyly.

Of course, no response.

I looked down, feeling the tears resurface on my eyes again.

End of chapter 12

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