If Only - Cardfight Vanguard

Chapter 9 : I do not exist

Chapter 9 is here~ yayz I don't own cardfight vangaurd~ Bushiroad does.... >^> I wanna own it so badly though... Well anyway let the chapter start!

I breathed in the cool air outside gratefully, I loved how the air got so clear after raining all night. I wished it was still raining however, if it was less people would come to school which meant less people to ignore me. I walked to school, I had everything I needed including my trusty knife that allowed me to see red when I had one of my cravings.

I watched the dark clouds roll across the sky as I approached the school, I was hoping that a storm would strike soon. Any reason to go home to escape the loneliness of the classroom was good enough for me, I just hated how that even though the class was full, I always felt so alone.

The less people around me made my loneliness disappear while I was at school, the more the class was packed, the more I was suffocated. It seemed really strange that the obvious was the complete opposite from reality in truth.

I wonder what I will learn in class today

I had cut down on my self studying because I was no longer afraid of my classmates instead, they seemed to fear me.

I sighed when I entered the class, all my classmates who had been chatting happily together went silent and went to their desks.

I'm not going to kill anyone sheesh.. I've never actually physically harmed anyone at all except myself..

I smiled at Mr. Kiri before I headed to my desk, I was glad when he gave me a kind smile in return. Mr. Kiri was really kind to me, my teacher Mr. Sora was okay but he wasn't as kind to me as Mr. Kiri, he was always fair to all of the students and treated them equally. While Mr. Sora seemed to be extra kind towards me which had only resulted in my classmates getting jealous and picking on me more frequently.

When my name was called I got up and answered properly, the snickers I used to hear were no longer present but I sort of missed the attention.

Any attention is better than absolutely none..no matter how much it hurt.

If I had wanted attention I could have easily became one of those trouble kids, but I didn't want to cause unneeded trouble for others. It just didn't seem fair to take out my social problems onto others, instead I remained a normal student.

Well normal if you call having your classmates ignore your existence can be called that.

Today we were doing a mini lab, there was an even amount of students for everyone to have a partner, including me. I sighed sadly when a few people begged to have a group of three people. It stung, knowing that my classmates would go so far as to beg to not be with me.

"But Mr. Kiri! Milla will be all alone if she doesn't join our group!"

Mizuha argued while Milla, one of the new students looked at the floor awkwardly.

"Mizuha the class has an even number of people, no group of three people is needed."

Mr. Kiri motioned in my direction, Mizuha and Milla looked past me as if they didn't see me.

"I don't see anyone..."

Milla whined, Mr. Kiri looked at me worriedly, I smiled and nodded sadly. I didn't want to make Milla miserable by having to associate with me.

It was okay, I was used to situations like this often, everyone denied my existence to Mr. Kiri and he was forced to give in, I would always have to do group work alone.

"Okay... Fine.."

Mr . Kiri looked really upset when he gave into Milla and Mizuha's wishes, I knew that Mr. Kiri cared for me and was worried about me. However I was glad that he didn't favour me openly around others. It would just give them another reason to deny my existence.

I grabbed my equipment and set up the lab by myself, I was thankful that Mr. Kiri didn't take off any marks just because I did the lab by myself. He seemed to be the only teacher that understood me.

Is it even worth going to school? Isn't home school something that exists? At least then I wouldn't be ignored...

I frowned and kicked those ideas out of my mind, I couldn't cause my family trouble by being selfish.

Me: chapter 9 is finished~

Aichi: always ignored...

Me: Aichi your very loved!

Aichi: by who?

Me: your family and fans!

Aichi: I have fans?

Me: yep~ a lot of fans~

Aichi: ....

Me: anyway hope ya enjoyed the chapter!~~~