Married to Mr. Strict | M.YG Fanfic/Smut.

-Fifty-Six-

*Bell POV*

Kim Namjoon...

I’m gonna kill him.

I’m gonna murder him.

I’m gonna rip him apart and feed his mangled, bloody, body parts to a pack of wild dogs.

I’m gonna buy a plane and…..and tie him up in it and crash it into his parent’s house….

But I.…..I can’t.

My knees gave out and I collapsed onto the ground. I held onto the desk and felt my heart burning with pain, anger and grief like never before.

“It’s my fault, Hyungwon…” I looked up at him helplessly as I started breathing erratically. He shifted worriedly and his face moved in sadness as he shook his head.

“Namjoon was trying to get revenge…..for what I did to him.” I placed my hands on the ground as my body shook with sobs.

“Bell this is not your fault. Namjoon is a crazy, out of control monster. You have no part in what he d-“

“YES I DID!!!!” I screamed so loud my head throbbed with pain.

“I hurt his mother years ago, I was the reason he was kicked out of university. If I had just controlled MYSELF than my parents would still be alive!!!!” I sat back into the floor as I full on started sobbing my heart out. I couldn’t hold it back anymore.

I killed my parents. I’m the reason they’re dead. And the reason that Jiyeon and Jimin are now orphans again…

“I can’t...I can’t take it.” I started inching back till I hit the wall. I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to reverse everything I had done. I wanted to go back to before I started all this and kill myself then so everyone I love could live happily.

“Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!” I started banging my head against the wall, trying to find a way to stop the burning pain in my heart.

“Bell stop it!” Hyungwon ran forward and grabbed my face with his hands, stopping me from hurting myself more.

“That’s just it, Hyungwon-ah….I can't stop it. I’ll never stopping fucking peoples lives up. When will it end? When Jiyeon and Jimin are lying dead in a car that I crashed?!?!” I pushed him away and started hitting my head with my fists. I couldn’t see clearly, I couldn’t breathe. I could barely make out Hyungwon talking fastly to someone on the phone but I kept going.

I couldn’t handle this all at once. It was overloading my heart...the anger, the regret…..I wanted to just end it all.

“Bell stop this!!” Hyungwon grabbed my hands tightly in front of me holding them away from my head as he knelt over me protectively but the fact that I’ve even caused him to be hurt before made me break into pieces. Since he was holding my shaking hands I resumed smashing my head back into the wall. Feeling a numbness spreading over me.

I didn’t know much of what was happening from that point. I felt such viscous panic tearing through my heart and all I knew was that I was hitting something solid and people were desperately trying to hold me away. I didn't know even I had started scratching them as I screamed

“Bell...stop it...please.”

I froze when I heard Yoongi’s soft, caring voice right beside my ear. I felt his strong arms swoop me up as he held me to him like a child.

“You’re hurting me.” He said quietly into my ear and I felt him shaking. I opened my eyes and my breath caught in my throat.