The Boy with the Two Toned Hair (Bon X Reader)

Chapter Fourty-Five

Sorry for the wait, but I was on vacation. Hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

"We need to train you so that you can fully channel all of Kitiara's energy."

A sudden wave of fear washed over me, the memories of the incident flooding back to me. I had tired to push it all away, trying to push the memories of indescribable terror away. It had been so painful, so frightening. I had lost myself in Kitiara's power. I hadn't realized how much power flowed through the demon until I tired to take it on myself. I had only tried to take a little on at a time. What would happen if I tired to take it all on. Surely I would loose myself for good. I didn't want to think about it ever again let alone try again. This whole situation was becoming too much to handle.

I scrambled back from the demons, yelping in surprise when my back came into contact with Bon's knees. My hands disappeared into my hair, my thoughts running rampant. I couldn't stop it. I needed to, I needed to talk, to talk this out with Katsuro and Kitiara, but I couldn't. I couldn't breath let alone talk. I couldn't do this. There was absolutely no way. I was not doing that again.

Strong hands gently settled on my waist, running up and down my sides as I struggled to breath. "It's alright, (Y/N). Just breath. Just breath," he soothed. Even stronger arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me onto his lap, pulling me flush against his chest. His chin found the crook of my neck, and his right hand came to rest on my chest, instructing me in my breathing. "Just breath in and out, love," he whispered into my ear, slightly rocking us back and forth. "You're okay, just breath, babe."

Soon enough, I found myself limp in Ryuji's arms, now breathing evenly. I opened my eyes, and to my surprise, Kitiara and Katsuro we're still sitting in front of me. I would have thought they would have left because of my minor panic attack. "This proves it, (Y/N). I truly believe you can handle this. I wouldn't have brought it up if  I didn't think you were ready," the male demon said truthfully. "You managed to keep us here even though you were panicking. You have amazing concentration, even if you don't see it yet. You can handle this, Tanner," he said with a startling amount of conviction. Kitiara nodded firmly from next to him.

"I don't know," I said, wringing my hands anxiously. "I-I can't," I whimpered. "It's too much. I'm not strong enough," I whispered, tears starting to form in the corners of my eyes. Ryuji's hands retook their positions on my sides, running up and down slightly in a comforting motion.

I let my head fall, not sure of what to do. This could potentially kill me. But that would mean saving others lives. I wanted so badly to say no, I'm done with this nightmare, let Ishida have the rings, but that would be unbelievably selfish. I could never forgive myself if I did that. I would have to live with the fact that I could responsible for the death of countless people just because I wanted to save my own sorry ass. I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I needed to do this. I knew I would have to face this eventually, but I was so scared. I just wanted to live the life of a regular teenage girl. I wanted I go on dates with Ryuji without a constant nagging fear that something awful was going to happen to him. I wanted to be able to go to school with having a personal bodyguard trailing me from class to class.

I was at my breaking point. I had enough of this nightmare ruining my life. I wanted it over and done with, no matter the results, as long as I won. I decided right then that I would give anything to stop this nightmare, and it wasn't just for myself. It was so that the people I loved would be safe, so that my classmates would live without worry floating over their heads like storm clouds. I wanted out of this hellish place I had been pulled to against my will. And the enemy was playing a dangerous game by pulling my family into it.

I lifted my head and looked at Katsuro, new found determination flooding my system. That was what I was missing all this time. I needed more determination, more of a reason to fight. My family was my reason. I needed to fight this battle to win the war. My mind was free from all previous doubt. If I wasn't going to do this for myself, I was going to do this more my family.