Chapter 32: It's Not A Goodbye

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Hey guys

Omg its been ages since i havent posted any chapter lol

But here you go. I made this just for you☺️

Oh btw, i suggest you to listen to some sad songs while read this chapter. Say Something would be a great song to hear while reading this chapter;)

(I'm not promise this chapter will make you cry)

Hope you like this chapter! Enjoy!
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(Barbara's POV)

I'm dreading the day his parents finally announce his memorial service because i know it means that i have to say goodbye to him. And i never want to say goodbye to him.

"Oh, right. Well... See you then." I say to my dad on the phone as i let out a soft sob.

I hang up the phone and change into my dress that Justin gave me.

Around 15 minutes later, Dad arrive at my front door. He greet me with 'hello' and 'how are you' But I just can't answer. I can't speak.

I'm too sad.

When we both reach the church, i feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Honey, Justin wants you to be strong for him..." Dad say as he put a hand on my shoulder for support.

"I know, Dad. I know. Its just hard to think you could have been there to stop it. Or to do something about it..." I say to him as another tear fall.

I quickly wipe it up and open my car door and step out onto the concrete.

I walk into the church and there are rows of places to sit. I have originally sit down in the back with dad.

"Barbara, we saved a seat for you and your dad up at the front, because we want you to be able to easily come up and talk." Mom Pattie say to me.

Me and my dad both stand up and walk to the front of the church. I sit down just as mom Pattie stand up and walk on to the stage.

"T-This is hard f-for me to d-do." She say letting out sobs after almost each word.

"L-loosing Justin, it is hard." She stutter.

"B-but I would like to take this t-time and watch Justin during some of his...happier times..." She say as the lights dim and she go back to her seat.

A projector switch on some pictures and videos of Justin appear. Justin was always smiling. I don't remember a time when he wasn't. It just doesn't make sense to me why he would do this to himself just to save me.

I sit there and watch all the pictures and videos as i can feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

Before i know it the slide show is over and every person in the audience have tears falling from their eyes, even dad.

Jeremy walk up to the stage and say, "Now, Justin shared everything with one person in particular. She was like a part of our family. I truly think Justin was in love. I would like Barbara to please say some parting words..." Jeremy say as he's constantly wiping up the falling tears.

I then stand up and walk over and start speaking. I really have nothing plan so i go with my gut.

"Justin. Justin Drew Bieber. He was the love of my life. He was my key to forever. We thought forever had a longer definition than 9 months. I thought, i could walk down the aisle on the arm of my dad." I cut myself off with some tears streaming down my face and the audience gasp. "Yes. I was his fiancé. I was so happy. I believe Justin wanted everyone here today to know, this was not a 'goodbye.' It was a 'see you later.' Well, Justin had left me something the night before... I would like to share it with everyone right now." I say as i let out a soft sob and open the letter.

"Barbara,

Babe, you should know that I love you. You helped me get through all these tough times. But lately, it just hasn't been working. I know, I am usually the one telling you to stay strong for me. And even though I won't physically be here anymore, I still need you to stay strong for me. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to cry over me. Because I didn't do this to hurt you. I was helping myself. I was helping myself so i could watch you from heaven. I helped myself by my decision. To keep you alive. I am not sure if it truly works yet, so promise me, you wont do this to you. I don't want you to be sad. I will be watching over you from heaven. I will make sure nothing bad comes your way. I don't want you to be sad about this. We said forever. And forever means forever. Even if that means, our forever will just start when we both thought it was over for both of us. Our forever will start in heaven. But for now we can just say I love you. But I guess if I love you, then I should let you move on... Love you forever."

I look at the paper that Justin had given me. On the corner of the envelope it says 'love you forever.'

Another tear escape as i walk back over to my seat.

I'm not paying very much attention to the rest of the ceremony. I'm focus on visiting Justin soon.

Finally the ceremony end and i have dad drive me back over to Justin's grave.

When i finally arrive at the grave i kneel down next to his tomb stone.

"Justin, I can't take this anymore. I just feel so alone right now. I need to see you. It's killing me. So I promise, I will see you by the end of tonight." I say between crying.

"No you won't committee suicide."

I look up to see who is it and its

Matt.

"What do you want? Is it not enough for you to do those devil things to me and Justin? Go away!" I snap and wipe my tears.

"No, it's not like that. I'm here to tell you that i'm sorry. I really do. I'd do anything to make you forgive me. I promise i'd do everything." He beg.

"I can't for this time. It's hard for me to forgive you now. Give me some time." I whisper, not looking at him but Justin's grave.

"Okay, i'm sorry." He say.

"Why are you still here?" I snap.

"Oh, just to make sure you won't do that." He murmur.

"Do what?" I ask him confusedly but mad at the same time.



"Committee suicide."

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