izzy. // ybnfuneral

twelve

nick

sitting back on the bed, i absentmindedly twisted one of my dreads. i had raided the locked cabinet and got out the bottle of hennessy that my mom keeps among other various alcoholic drinks for when she's in one of her 'moods' or when friends come over.

she doesn't know i know where the key is.

i slumped in between the sheets, a quarter of the bottle already done. i didn't really know if i was gonna finish it all by myself but i didn't care at this point. i just wanted to get wasted. bj was spending the weekend at his lil' friend's house so i ain't have to worry about him smelling or seeing anything.

i grabbed the blunt that lay on the tray and held it to my lips, concentrating on nothing in particular as i thought back on what just happened.

he really straddled me... and i enjoyed it?

my hand unconsciously rested on top of my dick. it was still stiff in my pants. "fuck..."

i wasn't sure if i was mad at myself because i was hot and bothered, or if i was mad because i let myself do that type of shit to someone like him, but either way, i was mad at myself.

i smacked my teeth and took one last drag of the blunt, before putting it out on the tray. my stomach rumbled loudly and i rolled my eyes. "man i'm fucking hungry." i mumbled.

getting out of bed, i walked slowly out of my room and down the stairs, almost missing a step.

i walked to the fridge and groaned at the sight that it was getting emptier and emptier. i pulled out some leftover carry-out and warmed up everything in the microwave, one at a time. i also took out some leftover fried chicken and fried and waited so i could warm that up too.

while i waited for all my food to warm up, i pulled out my phone to go on twitter then i see alycia text me. i opened up the message and read what she said. she wanted to come over.

on a normal day i wouldn't have objected, shit i would have went pick her up myself, but today was not a normal day and today i was not feeling it. not only was my high going down, but i was sort of drunk, tired, and semi-hard. i don't need her asking questions.

i decided to just not reply, and if she asks why, i'll tell her i smoked some and then fell asleep. didn't feel like hearing her either.

after five more minutes, all my food was warm and ready to eat and i took it all and placed it on the coffee table, careful so i won't drop any of it.

i sat down and got my phone from my pocket and went to play some music. i chose a mixtape from this guy who graduated last year. i didn't know him but i knew of him. detrell or kendall, or some shit like that. but he could rap and i could tell he was about what he raps, which is one of the reasons why i liked it.

i couldn't seem to shake this, heavy feeling that was weighing down on me. not even food was making me feel better. isaiah's face kept appearing and disappearing in my head. the look on his face when i told him to get up. he looked so much sadder than he usually did. i didn't exactly or explicitly tell him to leave, but when he did, my high immediately started to fade.

i wasn't sure why it did, or why i was feeling this way, but i needed it go away. if i was going to staying with him and his family, it was already gonna be awkward, i didn't need it be more awkward. i just wanted to chill and be cool.

i finished a piece of chicken and had a spoonful of the lo mein noodles, before i placed the rest of my food in a large plastic bag. i stood up and sighed heavily.