Shadow Of The Nightshade

Gabriel's visit (I)

Because he was already gone.

He was already dead.

Looking away wouldn't change that.

'Here,' he was back, this time with a piece of paper clutched in his hand. He waved it in front of my then moved back to his chair.

I immediately knew what it was, both then and now. We had both been in the Foundation, we had both escaped. We knew how to kill and how to kill well. We knew how to fake deaths and how to make fake deaths real.

We especially knew how to write convincing suicide notes.

I watched the little piece of paper fall to the ground. Now only realizing that he had a gun now.

The me on the screen looked up at him, I could see the disbelief on her face, the confusion. There were so many thoughts flitting through her mind but not one thing would leave her mouth.

They sat there for five minutes before something new happened. Timothy's expressions started changing, so rapidly that I could barely place them. He started pacing, helplessness etched onto his features, occasionally he shot me glances that range from bitter to sorrowful.

Finally, with a look of determination, he sat back in his chair and pointed the gun at me.

'You have to kill me?' he asked.

That girl, the one that killed him, she nodded. Instead of finding a way to stop him, she nodded.

'Do you need to?'

She shook her head. It was a lie, we both knew it. Gabriel would not have let me off if Timothy didn't die

'Do you w-want to?' he asked again, his voice breaking slightly.

She shook her head slowly.

'I see.' he said slowly and lowered the gun till the barrel pointed at the floor.

'Shadow,' he continued. 'I want you to know something.'

He smiled, flashing all his teeth. 'I know you want me to shoot you and end your suffering. I won't do that.'

I watched my eyes widen in horror and felt the urge to look away. I was about to relive his death, a death I could have stopped.

'You have always been weak,' he laugh bitterly as he continued. 'You take the easy way out in fights, you never liked hurting people.'

Then he walked towards me, got on one knee and pressed his forehead gently again mine.

'I'll never let you take the easy way out.' He smiled. 'You know that.'

Even now I still remember how he reached for my hand, his fingers around wrapping around mine and the trigger of the gun as he pressed the weapon it flush against his chest, above his heart to be exact.

'So let's kill me together.' What had sounded so loud back then turned out to only be a whisper I could barely catch now.

With tears rolling down to his cheeks, he continued. 'Because I don't want to live any more than you, so let's split the blame. . .and guilt.'

'What do you say, beautiful?' He smiled again, through his tears and mine. 'Shall we die? My heart with a bullet and yours with time?'

Back then I had wished that my throat had let me scream and release the anger, the pain, the sadness that ripped me apart on the inside, now I wished that I could remain quiet, I wished I could silence the sobs that wracked through me. I could have stopped him, for once I could have chosen not to be selfish, I could have push him away, I could have told him that he had a reason to live. I could have told him that I loved him.

But I didn't.

I didn't do anything. Back then I felt like I couldn't move, now I feel like everything was moving too fast. My grip on the chair slacked as I watched the screen, feeling hot tears spill down my cheeks but not having the strength to wipe then.

I watched us pull the trigger. I watched him smile and slump against me as his last breath left him. He didn't even struggle at peace with his death, a death that was not inevitable but one I brought to his doorstep. A death he could have avoided by simply pointing the gun at me and pulling the trigger.

The moment the gun went off it should have been over, the murder was done, now I could leave or get arrested, whichever one didn't concern me anymore.

But the video kept rolling and that was when I remembered that Timothy's death wasn't all that happened that day, Gabriel had come to check on me.

And for the first time since the video started playing, I looked at Robin. How would he react to what he was about to see? How would he look at me afterwards when he realized how lowly I was? How would he treat me after he saw that I was nothing more than an object to be used at my Master's will?

Suddenly, I felt sick, wishing that I had fought Gabriel a little bit more.

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AN: I'm back!!!