Shadow Of The Nightshade

Shall we die?

××
Shadow

I stared at the falling rain realizing that I couldn't remember.

I glared at the needle clenched in my hand and suddenly remembered that I chose to forget.

I felt the pain on my arms, trying to forget why I was in pain in the first place, that I did it to myself.

I tried not to think about him because I knew that he would be disappointed.

Robin, what are you doing right now? I wondered.

Do you hate me now? The question kept repeating itself as the voices of the people I just finished killing answered with an affirmative.

Do you know I hate myself? I asked the nothingness again. Especially when it rains.

The rain can't wash the blood off my hands.

I wasn't crying, it was the rain.

××

'Shadow, is that you?'

I heard that voice and wished it was his. I wrapped my arms around my knees, also wishing that I could vanish. Burying my head in my chest, I stayed silent.

Still, I heard the footsteps come closer then the footfalls sounded hurried. He obviously knew what I wanted to do.

What I needed to do but couldn't.

'Shadow, don't do this.'

He's on the far side of the railing now, I can hear him.

'I'd rather die than keep on killing.' I vaguely remember saying in reply.

'You're not a killer.'

That shook me to the core and I suddenly felt like throwing up and tossing myself down to the street below.

Everything hurt. I've never felt this sort of pain before, my heart felt ready to die.

'I am.' I mumbled, closing my eyes. Why does it have to rain? I love the rain, I don't deserve to love. 'I have to kill you, don't I?'

'What?' He sounded taken aback.

I opened my eyes and my gaze fell on his immaculate dressing, the epitome of neatness, now wet. 'I have to kill you.'

'You don't have to do anything,' he sounded frustrated and I didn't know why.

Timothy had always been a careful and cautious person so it surprised me when he said he was coming over.

I watched him climb over the railing, unsteadily teetering towards me on the narrow ledge in the slippery rain and using the railings as support. My fingers tightened around the strings in my hand.

I could kill him now, shatter the railings and have him fall to his death.

But I didn't, I looked on as he walked towards me and carried me in his arms.

'You have so many people that love you,' I heard him say as my breathing grew shallow. I vaguely remember the rain hitting my face as he said my name, my real name. But then I lost my vision. Once again, I forgot my name.

×

I don't remember waking up, but right now I have a cup of coffee in my hands and I'm staring at the pale blue wall opposite me.