Transformation, the beginning

He is looking at you all the time, 8

We sit outside on the stone benches during the lunch break. Sylvana and Daniëlle are still making an assignment, said Indira. She and Jade are sitting down and eating their lunch. 

Indira is a little bit shorter than I am and has beautiful thick long black wavy hair. She came to the Netherlands from India when she was five years old.

I stand across them and put my bag on the stones. They sit with their backs to the sun, while it shines delightfully on my face.

Indira tells Jade about a boy from her class that fell off his chair twice while the teacher kept telling him not to balance his chair between his table and the wall while sitting. I don't really pay attention to their conversation, and if I did it would be kind of hard to understand what she is saying because she keeps laughing.

 A few boys are playing football and a few freshmen are playing at the bicycle shed. On the other side of the yard are some people with their cigarettes and their loud music.

At the end of the day, I walk home with my earphones in. I suddenly remember that my mother is home late today. I go to the snack bar for a vegetable burger and fries. I also have to pick up Celly from school.

When I get home I do my homework outside in the hammock while plays with chalk and occasionally make around on his bike. When I'm done with my homework I grab my phone and see that I have been put in a class chat group. I save all the numbers with the names. I sit down and look at their profile photos, now I can see who is who and learn everyone's name.

Later on, I grab a box of pencils and turn on the radio. I put my hair in a bun and sit cross-legged. I continue with the drawing I started with last time. I can't really see what it is yet, but you can see that there is a storm and a cave. I grab a thin gray pencil and continue.

When my mother comes home we go back inside and eat.

"They found that man's body." 

I look at my mother in surprise. Not random at all this.

"That man who was missing, I think his name was Niek. They say he was brutally killed." She says in horror, staring at the table.

That man was murdered and the people who did it are still walking around freely. I get that the investigation takes time but I hope they will hurry up. Things like this don't happen much here and I'm happy about it.

In the evening I go to my dance school. Daniëlle and the rest of my team are already there. Our team, the messengers, consists of 4 boys and 3 girls. We are training for a competition soon, provincial tournament. The winner goes on to the Dutch championship.

Last year we went on to the European Championship where we became 2nd. Germany became first.

When I enter the room they greet me enthusiastically. Michael, one of the guys in my team, came up with a weird handshake. He thought we should have one as a team. He walks over to me with his hand up in the are. The beginning I know, a high five then an arm wave and a fist bump, yeah that's it I don't know the rest.

Everyone is laughing. I push him a little and he starts laughing too. Vincent turns on the music and shows videos of the other teams. The levels between all the teams are very different. So we don't worry about a few of them. But there is a team, the black hearts, that are really good. We barely beat them last year. They only dance to dark music, very aggressive and strong. The thing is, they have no variation in different dance styles.

"Shit, they're good," Pablo says. Dennis, Danielle and Michael nod.

"But we are better," Tabora smiles confident and throws her hair over her shoulder. I laugh and take a sip from my bottle of water.

When Jo comes in we all immediately get in position. Jo is very nice and funny, but also very strict. He is a perfectionist. He lets us do choreographies again and again until we get everything right at the same time, so the lesson can sometimes take hours longer. He and his team have become the first of the world five times. He starts the lesson right away. We first repeat the choreographies of the previous weeks and then start a new one.

"Guys, this piece may be a bit harder than the rest, but if you listen to the music well, you have to succeed," Jo shouts over the music.

After an hour we know the whole new choreography and everyone has the steps in mind. We aren't perfect yet, but we will be. We get a 5-minute drinking break. I take a sip of my water and stand in front of the mirror again. I do the hard part again and again.

I look at everyone when we are in our starting positions. I'm completely ahead because I am the smallest. Everyone is out of breath and completely red and sweaty. When the music turns on we start again. The music is so loud that it feels like the vibration of the bass goes through my whole body, it's a wonderful feeling. Your body is guided by the music and you no longer think of anything else. You no longer feel that your feet are starting to hurt and your legs are tired. You just look in de mirror and see the way all of our bodies are moving exactly how we want them to.

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The next day during lunch everyone is inside because it is raining very hard. I sit with friends on the bench on the side of the auditorium. We don't really have much to talk about today. I see a girl standing in front of me looking at something and then tapping her girlfriends and whispering.

"Wow," Sylvana sighs. 

We follow her gaze.

"Wow," Indira saw it first.

"Certainly wow," says Danielle in the same tone.

He is talking to some boys at the top of the auditorium.

"Where did he come from?" Asks Jade, who is now also looking in that direction. I look out the window next to me again.

''I don't know. Why did he come to this school? "Asks Indira.

Yes, I wonder about that too.

"Suspended?" Danielle guesses.

"He could have just moved," Jade suggests.

"I like that bad boy, mysterious vibe he gives me," Danielle says with a seductive voice.

I see in the reflection of the window that they are all looking at her.

"Badboy? How do you know that? He has just been here for two days. "Jade raises an eyebrow at her.

Indira turns abruptly to Jade.

"Well look at him. He doesn't seem like someone you want to argue with. "She says. All their faces turn to him again.

"I don't know, we can't really judge him because we don't know him. The only thing we know is what he looks like and that he hangs out whit that group of Dimelo. That probably means he's not a nerd. But we don't know whether he is a bad boy, a player, a hothead, a stud or someone who is very arrogant." That ends the conversation.

The subject changes when they see a girl's shoes. When I hear that I join the conversation again.

Daniëlle says she will get a dog soon. We all think of cute names. She likes ''smurf'' the most.

I look forward again and see a group of children dance. They have chosen the subject dance, you had that option in the first year. I did not choose it, I did regret it.

Suddenly I hear my girlfriends talking very softly and then it is quiet. I look at them again. One is reading a book, the other on her phone, the other looking at her nails.

"What are you doing, why are you suddenly silent?" I ask Daniëlle softly.

She turns excessively far towards me.

"He is looking." She whispers back. "He looking at you all the time."

'Who?' I ask and try to fight the urge to look around.

"Jason," She answers.