When You Came || Namjin

13.Pain(M)

Warning: Past Rape
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"We need to talk."

Jin jolted his head to look at namjoon and sighed loudly when he saw that he was dead serious. He knew there was no escape now. "About what?", he asked bluntly.

Namjoon frowned. He wouldn't lie that he was kinda hurt seeing Jin acting so distant with him when he talks sweetly to Jiyoo and their friends. He was hurt because of the treatment he was receiving from the past few days. So, he got up from his seat and crouched down in front of jin, taking his hands in his larger one.
Jin visibly relaxed under his touch.

"Baby, you act so distant nowadays. Whenever I come home, you don't wait for me so that we can eat dinner together like before. You work more hours than before, and don't even lie about you trying to avoid me because I know you are. I'm tired of it. I know there's something you aren't telling me. I tried asking yoongi too but he didn't know anything about you being distant or different from your usual self. And I can't help but think I did something wrong. So, tell me. What's wrong? Is it something I did? You can always tell me", namjoon smiled softly at jin as he tried to pursue him to talk about his inner conflicts. Confrontation is never easy. Never has been and never will be. But it's as important too. Namjoon and Jin, both knew that too well.

Jin's eyes widened when he heard namjoon confess about all the things he had been doing these past few days. He squeezed namjoon's hands a little before speaking, hyperatively. "No No, joonie! It's nothing you did. In fact nothing's wrong. I'm completely fine. See? I'm fine. I was just busy these days that I didn't realize I've been neglecting you. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'm so-", Namjoon cut his sentence by holding his cheeks so that he can directly look at him.

"Shhh, baby....you're crying", Namjoon said softly and pecked his cheek.

Jin's eyes widened again when he realised that he was indeed crying. Only then he felt hot tears streaming down his face. He bit his lip to stop whimpering out loud. "Ah- no. It might be dust. I'll have to get this place cleaned. It's so dirty", he tried laughing a little but it turned into a loud sob. Namjoon wasted no time in pulling the now brunette haired man in his warm embrace as he patted his hair gently in an attempt to calm him down.

"I-I don't know, Namjoon. I love you. I trust you. B-but I'm not ready. I-I can't...",Seokjin cried. Namjoon pulled away softly to look at the shorter's eyes as he said," it's okay, jinnie. It's okay. I'll wait till you're ready",he pulled the man into a affectionate hug with a sad smile once again as the brunette started wailing loudly. To be honest, namjoon's heart was shattering into pieces seeing the other's misery. He couldn't watch his love suffer. "Do you wanna talk about it? It's okay if you don't want to",he said softly after sometime. "I want to...",the other male trailed. "Just, not now...",he bit his lip before continuing. "It's okay, baby. Let's just sleep for now". Namjoon shifted their position so that he was laying on the couch and his boyfriend on top of him. He stroked jin's hair strands gently until they fell asleep. The shorter's cries reduced to mere sniffles and occasional hiccups.
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When namjoon woke up from his deep slumber, jin was not beside him.
"Jinnie!",he tried calling. When he got no response, he panicked and went looking for his handsome boyfriend. "Jinnie! Baby! Where are you? Baby, where are-", he stopped mid sentence when he entered his bedroom. "Ji-",suddenly, he was pushed onto the soft blankets. "Shh...don't talk...",jin said, hovering over him. Well, let's know what's happening. Jin was currently hovering over namjoon only in his boxers. He had a choker around his neck that looked tight enough to actually choke someone. Namjoon gulped inaudibly at the elder's beautiful proportions. But he wasn't going to lose his mind for lust.

"Joon, let's do this..", Jin leaned over Namjoon and brushed his lips on the younger's ear, whispering seductively.
Namjoon was flustered beyond thinking. He couldn't think straight. But he knew he couldn't do this. The smell of alcohol was all over him. He reeked of that nasty drink. This made namjoon more worried, jin never drank. So this might be serious if he drank just to have sex with namjoon. But namjoon wasn't going to give in. Not when he knows jin's just forcing himself into this. So he did what had to be done.

Namjoon held seokjin's face into his large hands and brought their lips together, melting in a soft, tender kiss. It was not rough or lusty rather passionate and soft. They kissed, expressing every single emotion that they felt for each other. It was mesmerizing. Pure love.

When they parted, both were inhaling deeply to catch their breaths, not removing eye contact even once.

"Jinnie, we don't need to this. I promise we'll do it whenever you're ready. I would never think of forcing you, baby." Namjoon said softly, still cupping jin's small face in his hands.

"B-but I don't want you to leave me!",jin cried and hid his face into namjoon's chest. Namjoon frowned after hearing the latter. "I won't ever leave you, baby. Never." He assured.

"B-but I-I have to have s-sex with you to make y-you stay, right? It works like that!", the elder wailed loudly after finishing his sentence. Namjoon went stiff. He couldn't believe jin thought that. A few tears escaped his eyes after witnessing jin's broken state.

"N-no, baby. I would...Never...", he trailed, kissing the elder's soft hair again and again, patting his back comfortingly, he hummed a soft tune to calm him down. The elder kept murmuring slurred words and kept sobbing loudly before falling asleep in his lover's hold. Jin gripped onto the younger for dear life and namjoon just let him. Not bothering about his favorite hoodie being wet with tears. Jin was more important after all. He laid back comfortably on the bed with Jin laying beside him, cuddling him like a baby koala. Namjoon smiled softly and kissed the elder's crown and pulled the comforter over them before falling asleep with his love in his arms.
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"I'm ready to tell you", seokjin whispered. Namjoon nodded, letting him start. "S-So, I was i-in this relationship f-for two years..", he started. "His name was Eunjae. W-We were so good together, Joonie. B-But then...", Seokjin trailed off, tears spilling from his eyes.

Namjoon stayed silent as he rubbed seokjin's back, trying to comfort but not overwhelm him. "It felt like he suddenly stopped c-caring. He would always come late and would leave after sex. I thought it was just me but on our anniversary date, he didn't show up till it w-was o-over", seokjin took deep breaths. It was too hard to say all of this out loud.

"When he came back that night, h-he t-touched me without my consent. I-I didn't want it. When I protested, h-he told me he n-never actually l-loved me. I-It was all f-for the s-sex", he cried, burying his face into Namjoon's shoulder.

"I-I never wanted to love again, Joonie".

Jin was a sobbing mess and namjoon had his arms wrapped around him protectively. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears. His heart was aching for the elder. It was too painful.

"But th-then-", "I came into your life" , namjoon finished. Jin nodded and hid his face in namjoon's chest. "I-I'm scared, joonie", he squeaked. "I know, baby. I'll protect you", namjoon said, letting his tears finally fall as he rested his cheek on top of jin's head.

"Thankyou for loving me, joonie...",jin whispered softly. His voice hoarse.

"Thankyou for giving me a chance to love you.."

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