When The Blossom Falls

Chapter 15

TW: Thoughts of Self Harm! Don't read if this is something that upsets you please.

Weak.

That's the word that kept replaying in Cheryl's head as she laid in her bed on a Saturday morning. 

Usually, Saturdays would be spent far away from her, and they would be spent with a certain pink haired girl whose name Cheryl refused to utter. They would be spent full of laughter and tears of happiness. 

But that's all gone now. All gone because of the deviant thoughts that Cheryl had of her best friend.

Deviant.

Another word that Cheryl's mind keeps going to. She has been called deviant by her mother so many times that she's started to believe that it's exactly what she is. She's refusing to see that those thoughts she has about Toni aren't deviant at all, they're normal. And so is she. 

Fridays are usually Cheryl's favourite day of the week. 2 days off from school and at the end of the day, her and Toni would always go to Pops to eat. 

But this Friday was far from great. It was the day she lost Toni. It wasn't the day where they went to Pops together. That was all over now. Or so she thought.

Thankfully, Cheryl's poor excuse of a mother was all the way in Greendale, pleasing the men and then stuffing their money into her pockets without any shame.

But still, Cheryl didn't want to be stuck at home because well..just because her mother isn't here, it doesn't mean that she wants to spend a lot of time in a house full of shitty memories that she's been desperately trying to erase for years.

So with that thought in mind, Cheryl got up, put on an oversized hoodie and a pair of ripped jeans and made her way out of the house and into her car.

Driving to Pops alone, with the only sound being the faint music from the radio and not Toni's somehow energetic voice booming over said radio, was horrible.

So when she finally got there, she practically jumped out of the car and made her way inside, completely unbeknownst to a certain pink haired girl sitting there, and definitely not alone.

Cheryl walked straight to the counter and sat down on a stool, waiting for Pops to come and ask her for what she wants. 

While she waited, her eyes wandered around the seemingly empty diner, until her eyes fell on her.

Her heart beat picked up and she clutched the bag in her hand for dear life as she watched, with tear filled eyes, as a girl who she's certainly never seen before, popped a chip into her former best friend's mouth. 

What the fuck?

Who was this bitch and where did she come from? 

Cheryl clenched her jaw in anger as she watched the two. Her heart practically dropped to the floor when she saw Toni pull the girl into a kiss.

She could physically feel her heart break. And sure, a lot of it was because she desperately wanted to be in the girl's position, but also because Toni seemed so happy.

Was she ever this happy with me? That was the question floating around in her head as she stared at the two, but thankfully Pop Tate's friendly voice bought her out of her trance.

"Hey Cheryl..the usual?" He asked with a smile and Cheryl nodded, unable to reciprocate the smile.

She aspired to be like Pop.

Always so happy and cheerful. Always on top of the world. 

He nodded and turned back, disappearing into the kitchen and yet again, Cheryl's eyes wandered over to the couple in the back.

However she did NOT expect to see familiar brown eyes staring right back at her. Cheryl soon came to the realisation that Toni was already staring at her, but the look on her face was anything but good.

Cheryl wanted to open up a dark hole in the floor and jump through, she felt so small under her stare. 

Toni showed no emotion as she looked over at Cheryl, it was like she was staring at a stranger. Ouch.

Cheryl finally bought herself to look away from her, before the tears came through. She didn't want Toni to see her cry. She'd know it was because of her but she also knew that Toni wouldn't do what she usually did, which was pull her into a tight hug and tell her it's going to be okay. But she also didn't want to cry in front of her because the last thing Cheryl wanted was for Toni to know that she's upset while said serpent looked happy with life.

She tapped her finger on the table impatiently as she waited for her food.

How long does it fucking take?

When the food finally arrived, Cheryl thanked Pop and quickly grabbed it, sending one last glance at Toni and her..girlfriend which she quickly regretted as she saw the two involved in a rather steamy make out session.

She scoffed rather loudly before she walked out and got into her car.

"Don't look. Don't look. Don't look." Cheryl kept repeating to herself as she stared right ahead of her, desperately trying not to look through the windows at Pops.

She took a deep breath and started the car, quickly pulling out and driving off.

She tried so hard to stop the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks and she managed to do it..until she got home that is.

Because when she fell back onto her bed with a thump, eyes staring right forward at the ceiling, the warm thick tears started falling down her cheeks like a waterfall.

However, where her mind wandered next was a no go zone.

Cheryl abruptly sat up and looked at her bathroom's door. Behind that door, was a razor that she fought so hard not to go and grab.

It wasn't the first time, god no. Before she met Toni, Cheryl would cut on a regular basis.

But the pink haired girl made her so happy and made her forget that her razor even existed.

But now that Toni's gone, the razor is the only thing on her mind.

Fuck it.

She's not going to cut.

Because even though Toni is not in her life anymore, her words kept replaying in her mind. 

When Cheryl finally talked about her self harming, Toni made her promise never to do it again. And just because they're not friends anymore, that doesn't mean Cheryl is going to break that promise. 

So with one last glance at the door, she got up and made her way downstairs, ready to devour the food she had just bought.

Alone.

A/N: I'm so sorry for not uploading in so long. 3 weeks is..way too long. But I'm back lol, and this chapter is pretty shit but I'm trying my best and the good stuff will come soon, I promise ♥. Hope you enjoyed.