When The Blossom Falls

Chapter 14

The worst feeling is feeling alone when all you need is reassurance and a tight hug from someone special to make all your worries go away even if it's for a very short amount of time.

And Cheryl was all too familiar with that feeling.

She'd experienced it so many times that it's become such a usual thing for her, and all she could do is just sit there and watch as the people she cared about most slipped away and out of her life. Yet another distant memory.

So sitting on her and Toni's bench outside where they usually ate lunch was super fucking hard especially with said Serpent being on the table right in front of Cheryl, laughing away without a care in the world while Cheryl sat there, eating her stale sandwich.

Cheryl knows she should go there and talk to her. But what is she supposed to tell her? That all she could think and look at was the girl's lips when they were dancing at the gay bar? Or all the fantasies that ran through her head which she desperately tried to get rid of? Or how just last morning she was going to ask Toni if she can kiss her? But still..she knew she needed to talk to her.

How many times was this going to happen? This was the second time they've had a fight and it killed Cheryl inside seeing Toni walking around like nothing had happened. She looked so care free and once again, Cheryl was questioning whether she's good enough. Because she misses Toni but clearly, Toni doesn't miss her. Or at least that's what she thought.

This whole day had been utter shit.

Having to go through it all alone. 

Cheryl ate by herself, she walked to class by herself, and went everywhere by herself.

But that's not what hurt the most, no. What hurt the most was watching Toni so happy. And that makes Cheryl seem like a horrible person but no, she loves seeing Toni happy. It's her favourite sight. But what hurts is how much Cheryl is affected by this but Toni has already found people to hang out with. 

What if she died? Then what would happen? Toni would be upset for a little, sure. But soon she'll be over it and she'd move on. It wouldn't affect her because she already has friends other than Cheryl. That's what Cheryl thought about and that's what caused tears to well up in her eyes.

She quickly gathered her things and ran into the school, in the direction of the toilets but what she didn't see was Toni following her.

Cheryl ran into the toilets and thankfully, it was empty. She locked herself in her cubicle and slid down the door as tears flowed down her cheeks freely.

"Cheryl!"

No response.

"Cheryl!"

Silence.

"For God sake Cheryl, open the door!"

"G-Go away." Cheryl stuttered.

"No just please talk to-"

"I said go away!" Cheryl shouted as she suddenly got up and unlocked the door, a very concerned Toni staring back at her.

"What's wrong-"

"Just leave! Come on, why is it taking you so long? It didn't seem to be such a problem yesterday!"

Cheryl immediately regretted what she'd said the second she saw Toni's face.

"Fine. You want me to leave? I'll leave. Permanently." Toni said starting to make her way out of the door but Cheryl was quick to grab her wrist and spun her around.

"No no I'm sorry-"

"I don't care whether you're sorry Cheryl. Goodbye." 

And with that.  She was  gone.

Alone. Again.

"Don't go." Cheryl whispered dropping down to her knees, unable to hold herself up.

"Toni! Please.." Cheryl shouted but to no avail.

Next thing she knew, she was being lifted up and she was about to shout before she saw Veronica's arms holding her up.

Oh.

"Cheryl..do you want me to get Toni?"

"I do but she doesn't want me." Cheryl said, burying her face in the raven haired girl's neck.

"Why..what happened?" She asked, rubbing circles on the girl's back in attempts to soothe her. But it didn't help. 

"She left. Just like everybody else."

Before Veronica could open her mouth, Cheryl began to speak.

"I'm so hard to handle. So I don't blame her. But she promised never to leave me Veronica. She promised." Cheryl explained, causing more tears to fall down her cheeks. 

She didn't know why she was opening up to Veronica, the girl who she used to have a massive crush on. Used to. 

Yet again, right before Veronica was about to say something, the bell rang.

"I think you should go home Cher..you don't look..very good right now."

And she didn't mean that as an insult. Cheryl didn't look good at all. Tear stained cheeks, ruffled up hair with red, teary eyes.

"You're right. Thanks for being here Veronica." Cheryl sighed, pulling away from her and making her way over to the door.

"You're welcome. And Cheryl?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything will be okay." 

Oh how she wished she was right.

 Cheryl scoffed, shaking her head as she walked through the now empty halls and over to her red impala.

Jason's car.

Another person who had left her to deal with all of her demons alone.

Cheryl unlocked her phone to check the time and immediately wished she hadn't. Because staring right back at her was a picture of her and Toni. Arms draped around each other and smiles adorning their faces.

She completely switched her phone off and drove off to the one place where she felt safe. Other than Toni's arms of course. But seeming as that won't be happening again, this was the next best thing.

Ten or so minutes later, Cheryl parked the car at Sweetwater River.

Weird how the place you tried to kill yourself has somehow become your safe place huh?

Oh wells.

Cheryl got out of the car and walked into the empty forest, soon coming to a clearing.

She walked over to the rock that she always came to when she needed to be alone and sat down, staring out at the river.

And that's when it really dawned on her.

She had lost Toni.

For good.

Cheryl couldn't stop the tears that started streaming down her cheeks.

When Toni had said that goodbye, she had dropped to the floor and cried but now that she's had time to think about it..it's even worse.

No more late night trips to Pops to get away from the horrible Penelope Blossom.

No more sneaking around to the back of the school.

No more snuggles.

No more anything.

A/N: Okay first of all, sorry for not updating for over a week but I really hope you enjoyed this depressing af chapter. If you cried, then I've done a good jo- no I'm kidding I really hope this didn't make anyone cry :D. Until next time. ♥