We Are Infinite

f o r t y - f o u r

m i a  /  f o r t y - f o u r

I think no one would correct me if I said that I expected more of prom. I wish it were more magical, but the sky is void of stars, tonight.

Don't get me wrong, Kade Lawson has been really sweet, of course. As expected. He'd handed me a bouquet of red roses as soon as Dad opened the house door, and I hadn't had the heart to tell him that I preferred white ones. Also, the look on Dad's face almost made me want to blurt out the truth right there on the spot, the truth about me wishing I was going to prom with Kade Ryder instead of Kade Lawson.

Dad looked disappointed, at the fact that it wasn't Kade Ryder. Me too, Dad, me too.

Of course, Kade Lawson was quite nice. He just spoke about himself a lot in the car, during the drive to the venue, and I realized that he seemed a lot happier. Upbeat, almost. I also realized that he wasn't as into me as I thought he was. He checked his hair in his selfie camera a lot more times than he stared at me, and I couldn't help but think that he seemed to like himself more than he liked me.

Maybe he just felt like I was a good distraction while he was going through stuff with his family, and now that it seems over, I'm pretty much just a pretty girl to hang onto his arm.

More than once, I caught myself thinking about Kade Ryder. The way he looked at me, as if I was the only girl in the whole world. And how, when our eyes met, it felt like how we were in some uncreated third space, a world where only us two existed.

It's around eight now, and Kade Lawson is nowhere in sight. We'd danced to one of the slow songs, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I'd turned my head so that his lips simply just grazed my cheek. I spot Caitlyn dancing with Cam, her head resting on his shoulder, eyes closed, lips turned up into a blissful smile. I smile in turn; glad that my best friend is happy. Glad that she's found someone that makes her feel that way.

It's what we all want, isn't it? Someone that can make us happy.

It's not relying on them to make us happy if you're not placing your happiness in their hands. It's the knowledge that they're there; that they're present in your life.

I realize that I'm standing in the middle of the crowd all alone, and so I head to the bathroom to touch up my makeup. I check my phone once I'm done, and before I know it, I'm rereading my conversations with Kade Ryder.

All at once, it strikes me that what he and I had, or what we almost had, was something. It was rare. It's rare that you find someone whom you could be so open with. Someone who makes you that happy. Someone you could look at, and you marvel at their entire existence, and you think their eyes shine brighter than the stars in the sky when they're talking about something they're passionate about.

It's rare. And I can't let it go.

I'm not sure, but something is telling me that maybe Kade is here. I don't stop to think how, or why. I don't even consider the fact that it's pouring outside, and that if I leave the hall and go outside, I'd be soaked within a second. I just don't think about those things; things like the weather seem too trivial a matter when it feels like I'm dealing with someone's heart in my hands. With someone life-altering, like a single human who it feels like something meant to be.

My entire mindset crumbles around me, in that second. It feels like all along, brick by brick was being broken down, but this is the final one. It feels like everything I believed in being torn down, and instead, I've been shown what's true.

That maybe some things are destiny, are fate.

I ignore the crowd of swaying students in the starry-decorated hall, instead stepping out of the doors. I'm almost running, and I don't realize that the ground outside is wet, so it's no surprise that I fall.

I shut my eyes tight, waiting for the impact of the fall, for the puddle of rainwater to soak right through my dress. I wait, expecting to hit the wet hard ground, but it just never comes.

Instead, I feel strong, lean arms catch me. An arm around my waist, catching me before I fall. And then I'm opening my eyes, and I lock gazes with dark chocolate brown eyes that can only be Kade Ryder's.

. . .

vote, comment, share x