We Are Infinite

e i g h t e e n

m i a  /  e i g h t e e n

I unblock Kade Ryder the next morning. If he's gone to all the trouble of creating a whole new account, then it seems like maybe he is really sorry. And yes, maybe I did overreact by blocking him. I see now that maybe he needs to talk, vent out his anger or something.

I skip school, faking a sick. I don't want to have to face Kade Lawson today, or any of the cheerleaders at his table who will no doubt pester me about joining the squad. Dad believes my act, and leaves a tray of oatmeal, yogurt, orange juice and a banana on my bedside table. I feel slightly guilty, but not enough to actually go to school.

I'm still a bit tired from last night, actually, and this helps. I've gone over my "date" with Kade Lawson a few times, and in the light of day it's so obvious that we don't match at all. Incompatible. Unsuited. Mismatched. I promise myself that after his big match against whichever rival team they're playing (I don't keep up with soccer, like I said), I'm going to end things, tell Kade that I don't feel the same.

However, while I've gone over this quite a few times in my head, there's something else that I can't get out. Cold eyes penetrating into mine, as if the guy could read everything in my eyes. The boy on the street, with quick reflexes and graceful moves, like something choreographed.

Who knew that a boy could make something like fighting seem so graceful, so breathtaking?

I realize that I'm thinking about this yet again, and I force myself to knock out of it. I'm probably never going to see that boy again, but at the same time, I won't blame myself if I find myself driving down that street, just to catch a glimpse of him.

I'm preparing myself for boring daytime TV, but when I switch my phone on, I log into Instagram and realize that Kade Ryder is active. He must have not went to school as well. As I'm scrolling through my feed, a new DM pops up from him, from his old account.

A tiny smile crosses my face, before I realize this and let it fade. Before long, Kade and I have eased into another conversation, and he apologizes for what he'd said the other day. I briefly tell him why I'd freaked out, and he listens, and seems to understand to a point.

I remember what Caitlyn said, about making sure about Kade's backgrounds and stuff, and so I bring it up again. This time, he tells me that he's from Greenwood, and I muse about the fact that I was there just last night. I don't tell him, though. Kade says that he's 18, and that he plays soccer for his school team, but enjoys boxing at the gym. We complete the other formalities, until I'm sure that he is not a fifty year old man, like Caitlyn suggested.

Slowly this eases into a deep conversation, about my family, and his, and without him saying anything, I get the feeling that he understands, more than he's letting on.

And I want to tell him more. I want to let out my thoughts that have been caged for too long, I  want to explain my fears.

I also want to know that he understands, and that he cares. I'm too terrified to ask, though, so I shy away, and we go back and forth, conversations slipping between deep things and light banter. It's so damn easy, and before I know it, I'm telling him things that I've never said out loud before.

This boy is different. You don't get much genuine people these days, but I swear, he's one of them.

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