We Are Infinite

t w e n t y - t h r e e

k a d e  /  t w e n t y - t h r e e

I can't make myself look away. Mia Lynch is beautiful, even more so up close.

Gorgeous bright brown almond shaped eyes. Long, thick eyelashes. A straight, defined nose. Pouty lips. Wavy brown hair. God, she's gorgeous.

I realize that I'm staring, but so is she. I force myself to look away, instead focusing on calming the thudding beat in my chest.

The last person I ever expected to walk into my balcony was her, but here she is. The night sky around us is filled with stars, the air around Mia Lynch and I filling with nervousness the longer we stand in silence. I never expected a face to face meet so soon, and I can tell that she didn't either.

"Kade. Ryder." Mia speaks first, her voice soft and barely a whisper.

"Mia." I say, and she turns around to look me in the eyes again. "I didn't think you'd be here . . . "

Mia laughs, and I think . . . I think I'm falling for her. "I didn't know either. What are you doing here?"

I raise an eyebrow, the slightest bit cocky, "Here? This is my house, love."

She gets flustered, cheeks reddening, and it's the cutest flipping thing in the world. I'm still staring at her, and her embarrassment fades as she notices this.

"Kade? I didn't . . . I didn't know you were . .  . were the captain of Albert Einstein High's soccer team . . . " she pauses, "Or the street fighter from High Street, either."

And with that, I'm brought back to reality.

"Yeah, about that." I say, "So you're, uhh . . . Lawson's girl?"

"Not exactly . . . It's complicated."

"It always is, isn't it?" I say, turning away, avoiding her gaze. I focus my gaze on the stars, the sky, hoping that Mia wouldn't notice the change in my behavior, but she does.

She does, and this makes me feel a bucketful of emotions that I'm not ready to sort through just yet.

She takes a step closer to me, and I feel cold fingers on my arm as she touches my arm lightly. I turn around, my eyes meeting hers. I drop my gaze to my arm, and she lets go, albeit the slightest bit reluctantly.

"Are you okay? How's things with . . . with your dad?"

I shut my eyes, wishing I could make all these feelings disappear. Albert Einstein High had won the match today, and I had played a part in it, but I haven't heard back from Dad at all. He'd been there to watch the match, obviously, but when I'd searched the bleachers after the game, he was nowhere in sight.

I don't know what to tell Mia; speaking to her in person is so different. At the same time though, the spaces in between us are no longer filled with awkwardness, instead, it's comfortable. It feels like I could say absolutely anything, and not worry about being judged. It feels new.

I tell myself not to get carried away, not to let myself get more attached. She isn't mine, she may very well be Lawson's girl, and I'm not the type of guy who'd steal a girlfriend anyways.

Yet, the words that leave my lips say the opposite.

"I'm beginning to think Dad doesn't care. About any of this," I say, and with that, I know I'm in too deep. There's no going back, now.

"What makes you say that?" Mia asks, her head tilted to the side. A few strands of her hair falls over her forehead, and I want to reach over, brush them away, tuck it behind her ear. I will myself not to.

Instead, I tell her of Dad, how we'd had breakfast this morning, a tense silence with only the sound of cutlery scraping across plates. The stiff pat on the back from Dad before the match, a much warmer hug from Mom. Barely a second of hesitation, a few minutes, maybe hours later and I'm telling her about how most of the guys on the team had their dads there in the locker room with them. Support, the kind I'd never gotten. Love. I don't say it, but it hangs in the air above Mia and I like a cloud.

She doesn't say anything, but a second later she gently touches my arm again. I turn around, and her eyes meet mine. An indescribable look crosses her features and, without hesitating, she comes closer, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I stiffen for a second, then relax into her touch; it feels safe. It feels like everything I've been missing.

The sound of running footsteps interrupt us. A girl with wavy brown hair and blue eyes run into my room, into the balcony . . . and pauses when she sees Mia and I, with our arms around each other.

Mia immediately pulls away, and my arms feel empty. Ignoring this, I turn to the girl, who I think is from my school. I haven't seen her around much, but her face is recognizable to an extent.

"Mia! What are you doing here? Kade's woken up, and you've got to see what he's doing!" The girl exclaims, grinning at Mia. The slight frostiness doesn't pass me by, though, the way her features twisted up when she'd seen Mia and I hugging.

Wait, Kade? Lawson. Must be. This is my house, and my party (Mom has gone on a business trip two towns over; locality of Dad unknown) but as it's pretty obvious by now, I'm not one for socializing.

I'm not sure why I didn't realize that Mia was probably here with Lawson, though.

And I'm not sure why it hurts as Mia turns around, with barely a glance my way, and leaves the room after the other girl.

I spoke my soul to a girl who left without a backward glance.

. . .

vote, comment, share x