Numb [Dan Howell FanFic]

Just Friends

It had been three months. Three long months of loneliness, and crying. No one was here for me, and Dan was gone. He was no longer in my classes, I was sick of going to Starbucks hoping to find him. No one talked to him. There was an odd desperation growing inside of me. It was so strong I decided to talk other boys and ask for him.

"Dan who?"

"Howell. You know side fringe, pale, insanely tall, all black clothes?

"No, no clue. Sorry."

  It was as if he had never existed, and I started to doubt myself whether he was real or not. Maybe I was just mad. It stayed like that for a very long time. Weeks came and went. Without friends, family, or Dan. I felt kind of empty. Everyday was just school, school, school, and a lot more of school. I know that is how University works, but I was starting to be in a state of mind of redemption. Giving up was all I could think about.

The months kept passing and I had stopped trying to meet people, and find Him. He was no longer here, and I was not allowed to ask the office, because that would be stalking. Honestly, I feel like I am just skin and bones dragging around with a book bag. There was no happy days, no energetic moments, and no romantic memories. I was numb, and I could not cry. Just pity myself.

There was nothing for me to do today, so I decided to walk to the shops. I still had almost all the money I had from this summer. My jumper was really thin so I was shaking the whole time there. There were many stores I went in to, and many that I avoided because of prices. This is what my life was now, me by myself all over again. I do not mean to be an attention seeker, it is just even some of the coldest people need a flame to keep them warm.

  My feet were dragging, and I could not help it. There was a small record store in between some stores and a restaurant. My feet slid over, and I walked in quietly.

  They had a variety of amazing genres and I decided to pick up a Blue October disc, just for fun. I loved their previous ones. I heard someone talking about a disc that was not in store and I turned to see who. My heart dropped.

  I went to hide in a corner because I looked terrible. My outfit was jeans and big jumper that was ripped from the sleeve. I found myself in the Vinyl section and pretended to look. But then I saw a shadow appear behind me. I shivered his presence made me feel whole. I could feel him smirking and I chuckled. Then, I turned around and saw him. My head had to tilt up to see him, and I imagined myself on my toes to kiss him.

  He hugged me and I could not help but inhale his warm and sweet scent.

" Hey, beautiful."

   I flinched.

" Hi, Dan."

" What are you doing?"

" Me? Oh yeah, I am, just I think I am go-gonna buy this."

He seemed like he did not notice that I was lost for words.

  " That's great!"

I was sick of not being near him, and even though we only talked twice before, I did not want this to be the third and last time.

" Have you had lunch?"

" No, I have not. Want something from down the street they have really good pancakes.."

"  For lunch?"

" Pancakes are for anytime, Lilith. Anytime."

I laughed and agreed. We started to walk towards the exit of the shop. Once we were outside he grabbed my hand, and I felt screaming. ' DAN FREAKING HOWELL IS HOLDING MY HAND OH MY GOD.' Because he was an amazing person and people should know that. Also, that I was hyperventilating.