𝘏𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘪 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 || 𝘑𝘑𝘒 𝘍𝘢𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯

Rank Bloomer || Etiolated Body

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As I was writing out my heart into this piece of paper, so many memories came back to me. These 2 years without my beloved felt lonely... however I'm used to being lonely since I shut people out myself when they get too close. I fear that they're gonna know my secret. People feed off of human contact, so when I finally go out and see people and focus on them, it makes me a bit scared. I'm not a person who likes to go outside and smile at everyone I see... I choose solitude and ever since then, it's been this way for a while now.

My words on the paper jump off and I feel unsatisfied with the way I try to explain these different situations. I sigh as I rip the paper and crumble it up and threw it in my trash can. I lay down on my bed and clear my throat, feeling how hard it is to breathe every second. This pain... I gotta hide it when Yoongi comes later, he has already seen and heard enough.

I look at the clock and sigh to myself while gripping my pen harder.

''Just a little bit longer..''

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My body has never felt this dazed before, and what creeps me out more is how calm I am despite the immense pain in my chest and arms. It feels as if my ribcage will explode soon, I can't even breathe right. It hurts to inhale deeply and relaxing my body only makes my chest tight. My eyelids were slowly closing as I felt like fading away right there on my bed, but I get startled by hearing someone knock on the door.

I slowly get up and walk on my 2 shaking legs, I couldn't keep my balance so I leaned against the wall and opened the door. To my surprise, it wasn't Yoongi... My heart started beating immensely causing me to squeeze my shirt and lean my fist against my chest.

''H-Hoseok?... What brings you here?'' I ask, while shakily trying to keep my balance, not letting him notice that I'm in pain.

''Jungkook, may I come in? I want to talk about something.'' Hoseok talked back with a sharp tone of voice, striking my ears.

I feared he knew about the kiss by forcing it out of Yoongi... who knows what he has found out about me and Yoongi.

I look down and utter out small words.
''Talk where you stand... please.'' My eyelids were dropping, I felt like fainting as my quick breaths made me dizzy and light headed.

Hoseok scoffed and looked to his side then back at my half-lidded eyes.
''I said, may I come in? I need to talk about something.'' He rephrased with a cold expression.

I slowly and weakly move to the side, inviting Hoseok in with hesitation as I weakly push the door, not noticing that I completely closed it.

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''Did you fuck Yoongi that day he ignored my calls, Jungkook?''

I blush as my eyes widen, my mind was going blank as I heard Hoseok's question.

''What?? No, of course, I didn't! You think I'd do that?'' I asked while looking down, avoiding making eye contact with Hoseok. I was too afraid to make it seem too obvious... we kissed but... I'm too scared to admit such a thing to Hoseok.

''Hmm, maybe. You seem pretty jealous. Do you think I haven't noticed how you follow us around on our anniversary every single time? Look, Jeon Jungkook.'' Hoseok moved towards me, tugging on the collar of my shirt and looking me dead in the eyes.

''Yoongi is mine. His whole body belongs to me, I can do whatever I want with him. Remember what I did last time you got close to him.'' He laughed while looking at the side of my face that still got visible scars and is swollen from the day he punched me.

I quickly look down, trying to control my breaths as I weakly defend myself.
''Yoongi doesn't belong to anyone, you don't own him.''

There was this long silence in my living room, I could feel how Hoseok got angrier and could just end my life right there and at that same moment he pushed me down to the floor by putting pressure on my chest.

I scream and gasp in pain as I hit the ground, almost losing my breath because of the hard thud my back hit as I fell down. I cough and wrap my fingers around my throat, place my hand on my chest and curl up as I feel my throat being blocked again.

Unable to breathe, I hide my face and quietly retch uncontrollably until I heard Yoongi scream in the distance.

''Jungkook! What happened?!'' Yoongi shouted as he ran towards me, putting his bag down as he got down on his knees and placing his hand on my back.

''Yoongi? You came here quickly, so now you're defending him?.'' Hoseok scoffed and looked at Yoongi with an ice cold expression.

Yoongi slowly rubbed my back as his expression changed each time he looked at Hoseok.
''Get out of here, we'll deal with this later.'' Yoongi said calmly and looked down, slowly lifting me up, trying to check if I was alright.

''Excuse me? You wanna be in the same position? Don't fucking try me.'' Hoseok's daring eyes met Yoongi's as he stood up, argued back by pushing Hoseok.
''Get the fuck out of here! Listen to me for once in your life, leave him alone! What the fuck is your problem?''

This silence tore through my ears once again... It felt like forever before someone made a move, Hoseok eventually walked out without saying a word and slammed the door behind him. I closed my eyes in relief... who knew what Hoseok could've done to me if Yoongi didn't show up?

''Jungkook, are you alright?'' Yoongi asked, worried and helped me up on my feet.

I eventually collapsed against him and let myself drift, everything was hazy... even my own will to stay conscious was fading away.

''Jungkook! Jungkook can you hear me? Are you alright...'' This faint voice of comfort slowly drifted away as my eyelids covered my eyes and all I could see was darkness.

🌹 My body and mind seem like they're deteriorating faster than my blossoms... I need to survive for him. 🌹