Splatoon Manga Various x Modern! Otaku! Reader [DISCONTINUED]

blitz is a useless word

'Yess Vintage baby check me ouuttt-'

"Tell me, (Y/n)," he began, interrupting your lewd train of thought. "Did you make it to X rank by trying your best?"

Now all eyes were on you now.

'Well this obviously wasn't in the chapter-'

"... Did you defeat me by trying your best?"

"Pfffttt-"

"?"

"Uh, well this was unexpected," you sheepily responded, scratching the nape of your neck. "I'm not actually sure what the non-existent correct answer is, but..."

"Yeah, I guess?"

Lies.

You didn't fucking know and how were you to tell him? What if you beat him on a 1v1 and humiliated him or some shit and saying you didn't remember would like-

"I see," he muttered quietly to himself, "I expected more from you."

...

He technically just praised you, huh?

Lol hope-

"We have guys who aren't strong in ranked," Skull admitted, "Who can beat even you."

"Hah."

"Impossible."

And with that, they walked away.

And thus, team Blueper (plus you and minus Bobblehat and Glasses = algebra) did some Clam Blitz.

-Time Skip-

"Ready...

Go!"

You immediately inked the sides of the stage, Piranha Pit to avoid never-to-come-flanks-but-lol-special-gauge(s), as you picked up about four on your way.

Obviously you should gather clams slowly, have like eight when at middle and then ten when you really hit the enemy turf- though that doesn't matter 'cause lol assured victory.

Watching from afar as Goggles was tossing in the power clam, you superjumped to him to toss in your small four- but when you landed you saw...

FUCKING TERRIBLE CLAN ECONOMY

They tossed like one instead of two at a time- grabbing like nine or something and then tossing it all in individually when they could just make it a GODDAMN POWER CLAM.

Eventually you just tossed one of your four to Headphones, and she seemed sOoOoO shocked to have a power clam.

"wHeN??"

Although you had already well-passed the 50 mark, the Salmon-Run-Is-Salmon-Fun team decided 'hM i tHiNk nOw iS tHe bEsT tImE tO aTtAcK!1!1!1!!'

Expecting that, you just superjumped to spawn early, leaving a bamboozled blueper team behind as they all got splatted.

Inking turf though your special was full, you noted the Tenta Brella going right towards your basket.

As in the chapter, they followed the brella trail (walking!), which is hella stupid but ok. (Goddammit cut off the trail or get em from behind why doesn't Emperor know this-)

Letting them toss in their clams, you chose to try and obtain the very essential thing, known as map control, because all you really gotta do exist.

In their turf, Goggles tossed Emperor at the basket as expected, but he just fast-fell and shot at the enemy team- but you stole the splat and made Emperor's a mere assist.

And so, a power clam was tossed and team try and stick clams in.

You watched as they did fast-passes but did nothing about cLaN eCoNoMy.

"Stop 'em! Stop 'em!" cried worker hat bois in desperation, "Attack!" (Hey that's me when a desperate fool brings Bloblobber to S rank.)

"No can do!" beamed Goggles as splooshed them all away.

"A'ight! I got me the last needed clam!" you called out, making sure everyone could hear.

"Hurry! Put it in, (Y/n)!"

Internally laughing at their desperation, you intensely squid bagged and used your special- they way you would at a squid party. (Like u just hold tenta missiles but dont do anything, or just mess with sting ray or spinny with booyah bomb.)

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"SHUT UP I'M JUST TAUNTING THEM!" and those were your last words before you tossed in the clam- setting the game.

"Knock out! Team Blueper wins!"

Making it back to the main area, you didn't really pay attention when announcements were made.

Rider just joined S4 and there was injured army.

Rider scoffed, "I'm also S+, afterall."

Then a thought occurred to you.

'GOD SHIT HECKIN DAMMIT I SOOO COULD'VE JOINED THE S4 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN COOL!'

A/n: Bad place to end chapter.

Huh.

Uhh lol k.

My dog choked.

Bless this poor soul:

He's not ded or anything tho lol just wants to die like me

I didn't crop the pic at the top so u can like vividly see that i wrote this at 23/11 PM.

dangling grandpa