mental health hospital || ethan

30 || im not good enough for you scarlet

I walked into Ethans room not caring if I didn't knocked , I needed to know what I did

I saw him on his bed with his guitar and songwriting book

He heard the door and looked up to see me then looked down at his guitar playing with the strings completely ignoring me

" why are you ignoring me " I said sitting next to him

He continued doing what he was doing , not answering at all

" ethan " I said

" what " he said sighing

" why are you ignoring me " I asked placing my hand on his knee

He looked at it and started fiddling with his fingers , he would do that when he's nervous

" I'm not good enough for you scarlet , you can do better than me . All I do is hurt you and make you see things that you shouldn't see , I made you cry when I was fighting . You care so much for me yet I still do dangerous shit and you're always there to help me or clean me up . I don't deserve you scarlet " he said removing my hand off his knee at the end of the sentence

What does he mean ?

He's perfect the way he is

" ethan I don't understand " I said stuttering

" I'm not good enough for you scarlet , let go of me " he said hanging his head low

I lifted up his chin and looked into his eyes which were getting glossy making me feel sorry for him

I leaned in and connected our lips , they instantly moved in sync

It was our first kiss together

I placed both of my hands on his face as I kissed him passionately

We continued for a while until I pulled away and leaned my forehead against his

" I can never let go of you ethan , you mean so much to me " I whispered

" scarlet you have to , I'm not worth it " he said pulling away making me sad

" ethan I want to be with you " I told him

" don't u want to be with me too?" I said confused

" trust me I would love to so much I just can't bring you the happiness you deserve " he said

" I'm sorry " he said getting up and kissing my forehead before leaving his own room leaving me here sat on his bed deep in my thoughts

I looked at his table to see a notebook , I was interested in it

I grabbed it and thought to myself

Scarlet don't read it

It's his privacy

But I want to know what it says

I was having arguments in my head , fuck it

I slowly opened it and saw the first page