Miles Away | Nick Mara

Fifty Five

*WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE*

Nick sat on the edge of the bed. I stood and leaned against the side of the desk, arms folded, trying to think of something to say. I didn't know how to start the conversation. 

"Who was he."

I looked up. "I don't know."

"Looks like you knew him pretty good if he was all up on you like that."

"I didn't know him." I stated.

A few moments passed before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." He said. "It's just frustrating."

"This is frustrating?" I laughed a little. "You know what else is frustrating? Watching some girl slide her hands up your thigh, and watching her whisper shit into your ear while you laugh and encourage her. That's frustrating."

"It's not the same thing." He stood up and took a step towards me.

"Really?" I laughed.

"Yeah." He raised his voice a little. "It's not the same thing."

"It is the same thing, Nick." I yelled. "I'm watching the person I'm in love with do all this relationship shit with another girl and I can't do anything about it because he doesn't feel the same way about me!"

I felt a tear drip down my cheek. Nick seemed to be getting more and more angry, but at the same time there was a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"This is bullshit." He said quietly.

My breath was shaky, and no matter how hard I tried to suppress the tears, they seemed to flow past my cheeks anyway.

"Forget it," I said. "You should go back to your girlfriend and make sure she didn't misunderstand what happened."

I opened the door, stepping out into the dark hallway. Just as I reached the stairs, someone grabbed my wrist from behind. Nick. I crashed into his chest as he pulled me towards him. I tried to push him away again, pulling his fingers off my wrist and forcing his hands off my waist.

"Just listen." He said, letting go. "Please, just listen."

I stopped, leaning against the wall. He played around with the sleeve of his shirt, hesitating to say what he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry." He sighed. "It just wasn't fair."

"What wasn't fair."

"I walked away that day, expecting you to follow me out." He leaned against the staircase railing. "Like I would've done if I were you. But you just let me go, and I waited outside your door for so long but you didn't come out."

"I was giving you space." I said. "You were mad, and I knew you'd get even more mad if I tried to explain."

He shook his head. "Maybe I would've been mad. But if you walked out with me, it would've proved to me that what you maybe had with Z wasn't real."

"You know it wasn't real."

"Did I?" He scoffed. "I don't know, Aubri. Seemed pretty real to me."

"We were dating." I raised my voice a little. "I loved you. I still do. You really think I'd throw all that away for a little fling with someone I don't have any feelings at all for?"

Nick sighed. "I don't know."

I sunk back against the wall.

"Goddamn it, Nick. What happened to us."

He hesitated. "I was gonna give you this."

He pulled out a box from his pocket and handed it to me, his head hung low. I opened it. There was a ring inside. It glittered, reflecting off the small amount of light coming from the ceiling. A small diamond shone the brightest from the middle of the ring. I didn't know what to say.

"Is this.."

"It's not an engagement ring." He laughed. 

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know you're not ready for that. I got it as a promise ring. But I don't even know if you're ready for this anymore."

I sighed, moving the box around in my hand.