Dark inside (Solby)

Helpless

Colby's POV

When we got to the hospital he was barely awake and people came and grabbed him rushing him away from me and I didn't even have the energy to follow. I didn't tell anyone where I was, having others would make this worse. He had been through so much and I couldn't even pick up on the fact that he was depressed. Maybe I shouldn't even be here, maybe he was right. Maybe I couldn't save him. Maybe I should just go, but I convinced myself to stay and make sure he was okay before heading out. I'd leave him a note to tell him he would be better off. So while I was waiting and worrying I sat down and started to write the note for him. Telling him everything I felt and everything that was going on and I'm sure I apologized about a thousand times as I sighed. Once I finished I folded the paper and opened my bag, pulling out the silver ring I had been wearing after giving him his and I taped it to the letter. I then sat there and closed my eyes and finally broke down and started to cry. My dad was right, I was weak, I was useless, I was just some stupid Fagg who couldn't even protect his own boyfriend. I sat there for a good half hour before the nurse came out and looked at me. 

"You can go see him now" She said as she knelt in front of me. "He's gonna be just fine, he just hasn't come out of the sedative yet so hes still asleep, but you can go wait for him to wake up." I looked back at her and nodded with a soft smile.

"Thanks," I said before standing up and I started to walk to the room as I played with the letter in my hand. I felt so much guilt in my heart as I walked to the room and opened the door, and my heart broke when I saw him. He was hooked up to all kinds of machines and and wires and he was still fast asleep. I sighed as I sat next to his bed and rested my head on his chest as I cried again. "I'm so sorry" I whispered as I cried. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you, I'm sorry I can't keep my promise. I love you more than anything and all I want is to keep you safe, and me leaving is the best option." I cried for a good five minutes before I sighed and took a deep breath and I wiped my eyes and rested the paper on the nightstand before I stood up and walked out of the room and out of the hospital. I drove my car back to the house, and then grabbed my motorcycle out of the garage and drove off. 

Sams POV

I woke up with a groan as I slowly opened my eyes and Elton, Corey, Jake, and Devyn were there waiting for me, but something already felt off and I reached up and rubbed my eyes. Then as I looked around again I realized what it was. 

"W-Where's Colby?" I grumbled still trying to shake off the sleep. They all looked at each other and Elton sighed softly before he grabbed something off of the nightstand and held it out to me. It was a piece of folded paper, with a silver ring on it. I looked at him confused as I opened the piece of paper and started to read it. 

Sammy,

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, you don't deserve to go through all of this pain and sadness, especially since it's because of me. You deserve to be happy, to make a difference, to help people, to make people laugh and smile like you used to, making people live beyond the norm. I can't keep dragging you down like this, causing you to try and take your life like this. I want you to be happy, to be safe and loved and appreciated and remembered. I don't have that kind of legacy, there's nothing I will be remembered for, nothing I have changed, nothing that really matters. I'm the emo fuckboy fagg that everyone looks to for a gay joke or some sex reference, so I'm gone. I'm taking all of the shit you're getting with me and I'm out. This is the only way I can protect you like I wanted to. I love you baby boy and I hope you find someone who can really take care of you, better than I could 

Be brave - Colby 

I had tears in my eyes as I looked up at the others confused. This was a joke right, a sick joke that they were all playing on me, and Colby was waiting outside of the room to run in and say it was a joke and hug me tightly and tell me everything was okay. Elton looked at me with sad eyes as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him, and that was all I needed before I started to cry hard. He was gone, he was really gone. 

"Why?" I asked between sobs "Why would he do this to me" 

"I don't know Sammy, but we're gonna find him, it's gonna be okay."

"No you're not" I said softly as I held the ring and I looked at it. "He's on his bike. He's either dead or long gone you won't find him" Elton looked at me a little surprised but Jake nodded as he hung his head, knowing exactly how true that statement was. He just left me, he broke his promise, he broke my heart, and it wasn't even his fault. "Give me my phone" I said simply and Jake handed it to me before Elton could protest. I opened Instagram and instantly went live. I waited until there were abut two thousand people in the live and everyone was spamming so I shut off comments so they had to listen to me.  "All of you know where I am and why, but it got worse, because of certain people what happened to me got worse" I said as I propped my phone on my legs and showed the stitches on my arms to everyone on the livestream. "You see these? These are what your DM's did to me. Your words and your lies and rumors did this to me. and you know what else it did? It hurt the one person that has been holding me together through all of this. It hurt Colby. It broke him. Realize that e's not here with me? That's because he left me, he ran away told me I was better off without him. I was safer without him. But guess what, I'm not. So I'm done. No more social media. No Instagram twitter youtube nothing. I'm not posting content anymore because I can't. I don't want to. Not when he's not here with me. So be proud of yourselves because you know who you are. And you killed Sam and Colby" Then I ended the livestream and deleted Instagram and twitter off of my phone before putting it down and crying. Everyone except Jake was staring at me in shock. Instead Jake hugged me tightly and rested his forehead against the top of my head. It was done, there was nothing we could do now, unless he came back to me.