Dark inside (Solby)

Let me fix your heart

Colby's POV

I was pacing back and forth in the waiting room with tears streaming down my face. I thought he was better, I thought she wouldn't come after him, I thought everything was going to be okay. But no, I let my guard down once and he tries to kill himself. I should have known you can't be fixed like that. I shouldn't have left his side. I would have talked him out of it and he wouldn't be on the edge of death right now. This is my fault, if he dies it's my fault. As I was pacing Elton grabbed my shoulder and made me look at him.

"Hey" He said as he made me look at him. "He's going to be okay. I promise. You guys have made it through worse. He's gonna come back"

"But in what shape?" I asked with tears flooding down my face. "She tore down my months of work in thirty seconds. I don't know what he's gonna be like when he wakes up. What if he doesn't love me anymore? If he believes her? I can't go through that. That's just like him dying." Elton looked at me with soft eyes and loosened his grip in my shoulders a little.

"I highly doubt that he'll come out any different. Didn't you make an attempt like this? And he just barely stopped you from cutting your arm?" I nodded slowly.

"But I didn't want to die because I thought I was being cheated on by the person who then saves me."

"Don't you think that maybe you saving him will show him that all of that was bullshit?" I stood there and didn't say anything. There was nothing I could say. He didn't understand. He wouldn't understand because he has never been where I am right now. He can't help me through something he hasn't ever felt. He sighed softly and let go of me. "Just don't let it consume you alright?" He asked and I nodded before turning and walking outside. And sitting on a curb. I was going to kill her, she was going to pay for the shit she did. She took so much from me, and does everything she can to ruin my life. It doesn't matter what I tell her, she is determined to ruin me until I come crawling back to her, which clearly will never happen. I was sitting there on the curb playing with my rings when I heard someone walk up behind me.

"You know, you really shouldn't be with someone that weak. If he can't believe you after one photo he's not worth your love."

"That's funny, considering you don't know the whole story Shea."

"Oh yea, and how's that?"

"Well for starters he's been suicidal for the last three months because his dad decided to go after him verbally. And then I had just started to get things back to normal before you ruined it with a photoshopped picture." I hissed as I glared at her but she was only smirking. I growled and punched her hard in the face causing her to stumble back.

"Shit you really are pissed." She said once she regained herself.

"Yea I'm pissed! Does that surprise you?"

"No. It actually just makes this easier for me." She walked over to me and I heard her pull something out of her purse. I knew what she was doing and it was only fueling my anger. I spun around and caught the syringe before she could eject it into my arm.

"You think you can just use him and almost her him killed to drug me?" I hissed "to force me to be all over you and fuck you like I'm your little doll? Because trust me Shea, I've know you long enough to know that you won't be able to hurt me anymore. I won't let you control me" I yanked it from her hand and chucked it into the bushes where I heard it shatter.

"You really think you can stop me colby? I will get what I want no matter what you think you can do." I looked up at her and started laughing hard. "What's so funny?" The next thing she knew she was knocked out by Elton.

"My uncle is behind you"

"Are you okay?" Elton asked as he walked toward me. I nodded and sighed as I took deep breaths trying to calm down. "Good. Sams awake and he's been asking for you constantly. He won't talk to anyone else. He wants to see you first" I looked up at Elton and my eyes widened a little as I shot to my feet, which made Elton smile.

"Let's go" he nodded and led me down the many halls of closed, white doors. This was bringing back memories from high school, and it finally made me wonder if this was how Sam felt when I passed out after cutting my wrists. It defiantly hasn't been enough to kill me, he had made sure of that, but I don't think he knew that at the time. I remember what he said to me the day I woke up, and it made me smile to remember that he kept that promise.

Flashback to years ago

I woke up and I didn't remember where I was, not at first. Then I heard the soft beeping of the machine and could smell bleach, everywhere. That's when I remembered what I had done. I could feel the bandaids on my wrists, and I remembered the panic in his voice. I had put him through that, he kept me from dying. I sat up as everything flooded my head and I finally realized how stupid I was for trying, for putting him through that. He had done so much for me and I had basically thrown it right back in his face. I love him so much, which he doesn't entirely know, and I had just torn him to pieces. The nurse noticed I was awake and walked in to talk to me but before she could get a word out I had to ask her.

"Where's Sam? Is he here?" She looked at me a little confused before realization crossed her features.

"Oh you mean the blond boy that brought you in?" I nodded. "He's outside. I'll go get him for you" I nodded again and she smiled, before she turned and walked out the door. As I sat there scolding myself for hurting him the door was soon open again by Sam and my head shot up.

"Thank god" he sighed as he walked~well ran~ over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back as I sighed.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered. "I'm so so sorry I did this to you."

"Hey hey, Colby this isn't your fault. You've been dealing with this for years. I'm just glad I was able to stop you in time." I stayed as close to him as possible and I tried to calm down, as he gently rubbed my back. "Just let me help you, I know it takes time, but don't try and push me out anymore. Let me fix your heart."

"Okay." I said softly. "Okay"

"Hey Colby" Elton said suddenly bringing me out of my thoughts. "This is his room." I looked at the White door in front of me and nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Thanks Elton." I said softly before I pushed the door open and walked inside