Texts & Scenarios || Little Mix

78

Jesy: I want to be a caterpillar.

Jade: Explain.

Jesy: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Jade: You know they have a lifespan of two weeks, right?

Jesy: That's another highlight.

~~~

Perrie: *Stares at a chocolate muffin wrapper*

Leigh-Anne: Feeling guilty for eating that muffin?

Perrie: No, I'm debating whether I should lick the wrapper or not.

~~~

Leigh-Anne: You remind me of the ocean.

Jesy: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Leigh-Anne: No, because you're salty and people fear you.

~~~

Jade: You need a hobby.

Leigh-Anne: I have a hobby.

Jade: Gazing longingly at Perrie isn't a hobby.

Leigh-Anne: You're right. It's a profession and I excel at my job.

~~~

Perrie: Jesy freaked out because I told her I never drink water. Now she's making me drink eight glasses of water a day.

Jade: Well, that's great, Perrie. Your body needs water.

Perrie: Maybe, but I don't understand why she's making me drink tap water when there's water in soda and milk. There's even little pools of water on pizza.

Jade: Perrie, that's grease.

~~~

*At a theme park*

Jesy: Is that the underground boat ride?

Leigh-Anne: Yeah, and it's really dark. Does it give you any ideas?

Jesy: Yes! No one will see me push you over. Let's go!

~~~

Leigh-Anne: Why is Jade crying?

Jesy: She saw a raccoon on TV, said something about a Lexa, then she just broke down.

Leigh-Anne: Lexa...*Starts crying*

Jesy: Please, not you too.

Perrie: *Enters the living room with tears in her eyes* it's been three years but I'm still not over her death.

Jesy: Who the fuck is Lexa?!

~~~

Jade: Leigh can't be good at everything. There must be something she's not good at. Maybe she's a bad kisser?

Jesy: Actually, she's an excellent kisser.

Jade: How do you know that?

Jesy: She's a terrible driver, probably one of the worst drivers in the world. She almost got us both killed the other day. I still don't understand how she got her driver's license.

~~~

Perrie: Which country has the most birds? Portu-geese.

Jade: That's a language, you dork.

Leigh-Anne: Portu-gull.

Jesy: Bot-swan-a.

Jade: Turkey! How could we forget Turkey?

~~~

*Visiting Leigh-Anne at the hospital*

Jade: This brings back memories. I loved playing doctor when I was a kid.

Jade: *Flashback to 7-year-old Jade with a stethoscope and a stuffed Pikachu*

Jade to Pikachu: You'll never wake up, your brain is too damaged. It's time to pull the plug.

~~~

Satan: I've come to take your souls and send you to hell!

Jesy: We're not scared of you!

Jade: I kind of am.

Jesy: Shut up, Jade.

~~~

Ellie: Don't tell anyone.

Perrie: Cross my heart and hope to die.

Five seconds later, in the group chat

Perrie: Leigh, Jesy, Jade, you're not gonna fucking believe this!

~~~

Perrie: Jesy, look, I'm melting butter!

Jesy: That's fantastic, Perrie. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.

~~~

Leigh-Anne: We are great together because we are different.

Jade: True. I'm always right and you're always wrong.

~~~

Jesy: Who prints out an itinerary for a night out?

Jade: I'm an organized person!

~~~

Leigh-Anne: If anything goes wrong, fake a heart attack.

Jade: Are we thinking the classic Angina or something sexier like a Myocardial Infarction?

Jesy: Just collapse to the ground.

~~~

Perrie: What's the difference between me and this salad?

Jesy: The salad is healthy.

Perrie: Actually, I was gonna say that the salad is dressed.

Jesy: Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

~~~

Jesy: I'm sorry for all the hurtful things I said. For what it's worth, I like having you around.

Simon: No, you don't.

Jesy: That's right, I fucking hate you. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

~~~

Jesy: Give me a bottle of vodka. It's been a long week.

Leigh-Anne: Long week? Baby, it's Monday.

~~~

Jade: Ugh, I'm so tired. I didn't get any sleep last night.

Perrie: You know, if you can't sleep it usually means that someone is thinking about you.

Jade: Who would be thinking about me at 3 AM?

Perrie: *Gay panic*

~~~

No one:

Jade: I climbed Kilimanjaro.

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Exactly one year ago I posted the very first chapter of T&S. I never thought it'd get as much appreciation as it's gotten since that day, so thank you all so very much. You are the reason why I do this. All the lovely messages I receive, your support overall, it's what keeps me going, what motivates me. You guys mean a lot to me, I just want you to know that ❤️