Don't Say Anything

55. The Wedding

"I think you should just go," she says with a smirk.

"I don't think you should be left alone."

She scowls at me, but I still see the humor in her eyes.

"I can take care of myself. Go talk to her." She starts walking in the opposite direction and quickly turns around to wink at me and then continue on her way. Where is this flirtatious Jessi coming from? She's driving me insane, and for once, not in a maddening way. Normally it's her constant questions that make me crazy, but this is a different kind of crazy. I'm crazy for her, not at her. Maybe I always have been, but I'm just realizing it now.

She's lost in the crowd by the time I get my thoughts together. She wants me to have some genuine mother-son talk, but with this many people fighting for her attention, it's not even worth a shot. I'll just prove to her that I'm here and then talk Jessi home.

"Leah," I say as a mass of people all around her try to make their voices heard. Her eyes shoot up to mine in an instant and she rushes over to me.

"Oh, Darling. Have I told you how grateful I am for you coming tonight?"

"Only a hundred times," I chuckle as she wraps her arms around my neck. All my tension evaporates with her gratitude. It makes all this extra bullshit worth it when she gives this kind of attention to me. It seems like her whole world revolves around Ethan. Maybe this wedding is a good thing. Now she knows that Ethan won't leave anytime soon, so we can go back to our relationship before him. Or at least kind of what our relationship was like before him.

"Well, I'll tell you a hundred more times just to make sure you know." She squeezes me even tighter. "I love you."

My heart has either stopped or it's beating out of my chest, I can't tell. The whole world has disappeared around us. I don't hear the music, or talking, or shoes against the ground, or anything. I only hear those three words ringing in my head.

"William, honey, are you okay?" Leah has pulled away and is looking at me with matching green eyes.

"You love me?" I don't recognize my own voice. I have no idea what I look like right now, but I'm sure it's comical. So many emotions are flowing through my mind and into my expression.

"Yes, of course I do. I always have and I always will." She says it with so much certainty that I want to believe her. Had she really loved me all those times she's pushed me aside for Ethan? Is she really going to love me when it comes down between him and me again? It's always a battle between the two of us, and Leah always sides with him.

"But, Ethan," I can feel him staring at me from across the room. His gaze is magnetic, and not in a good way like Jessi's.

"Just because I love Ethan doesn't mean I love you any less. You've never understood this, William, and I've been a terrible mother trying to explain it. I know you and Ethan don't see eye to eye, but I love you nonetheless. You will always be my son."

This is what Jessi was trying to tell me about. How can she love me when she loves that monster? How come she never tells me? Why is this all so confusing?

"I don't know what to say." I really don't. I haven't had time to process all of this, and at her wedding of all places. I can't think straight with all these familiar faces around me. I need some air, now.

"Then don't say anything," she says giving me another quick hug. "We'll talk later."

I don't look back at her, and I don't look up at Ethan. I don't look at anyone directly for fear that they might talk to me. I just need to find Jessi, and then we can get out of here. Of course she would run off somewhere. She could be anywhere.