Hurting

Moving Out

I was sad that we all moved out of the trap house. It felt like loosing a bit of my family but I knew they will still be here. When I moved into my new place, Sam would come over everyday just to be with me. It was really nice but when he left, I didn't know what to do with myself. I usually tried to distract myself with random things. Only a month after we moved out, Sam decided that he is going to move in with me. The day when Sam moved in with me is when I felt like a sudden weight was lifted off my shoulders. It took us about another month before we decided to tell our family we are together and two weeks to announce it on social media. Sam is so much happier than when we all lived together and I also felt like happiness wanted me. I felt so much better and of course I would still have my lows but I am now happy. I began to talk to Sam once again and actually starting talking about my depression with my friends and family. Sam is so supportive about my recent decisions and always finds away to help me get back to my feet when I'm down. Me and Brennen still talk but not often. When we had gotten home after meeting Brennen all those months ago, Sam had forced me to talk to him. I told Sam everything, how I felt, what I was worried about and to my surprise Sam also told me he was scared. That was long ago though. Me and Sam recently got a puppy which she is so fricken cute. We named her Nova. I think I love her more than I love Sam, which is saying a lot. Sam and Katrina finally came to the conclusion that they are still friends, despite what happened. I'm happy for them because I knew Sam was hurting when they broke up and to be completely honestly I was hurt when Sam was hurt. It made me feel worse because I thought it was all my fault. I thought I made them break up, which almost made me turn away from Sam. I guess I should've told Sam how I felt but at that time, I couldn't tell anyone anything. I didn't know how much I needed to talk to someone until I finally gave up to Sam and told him everything. I can say now that I am free, I don't need to feel like I'm trapped and no one can help me. To be honest, I can't really comprehend why I had planned to end my life and I am a little disappointed in myself for that. But I am okay, I told my fans about what happened so they could understand why I suddenly disappeared without any notice and the amount of support I got took me by surprise. I never knew how much my fans really care about me and my mental health. It feels good to be cared for, to be loved. I never thought I would be happy again but I guess I was proved wrong and I thank god for that.

"I'm happier now that I'm with Sam and can talk to him whenever I want and not feel like I'm weak for talking to someone. I'm so grateful to have Sam in my life."

(I'm sorry about the short chapter but I need y'all to read my A/N because I have to tell you something. Once again, I'm sorry for the short chapter but there is a reason for it and it will be explained when you read my A/N)