Hurting

Panic Attack

Sam had left for the rest of the day because he had two things to do. One to do a photo shoot and to film a video for his channel. I couldn't let my fans down on Friday so I decided to upload a video I did awhile back with all my roommates. I don't usually do pre recorded videos but I just didn't feel like editing a video today.
"Oh hey Colby. What you doing?" Aaron walked into the main front living room holding his camera. Instantly I put on a smile.
"Uploading a video for my channel. What are you doing?"
"I'm filming." I laughed at his answer. "Filming what?"
"Filming a skit with Corey, so don't mind the screaming." I couldn't even respond to Aaron. I just shook my head, smiling.
"Aaron! There's a flipping fluff ball trying to eat Piki pik!" Corey yelled at Aaron, instantly making Aaron run towards Corey's voice.
"Corey that's not a fluff ball. That's my dog..."
"I never seen a dog look like that before so you must be lying to me!" I laughed to myself, listening to Aaron and Corey do their skit.
"What is going on?" Sam's voice almost scared me to death. I didn't even realize Sam had walked into the house.
"Oh. My. God. Sammy, you scared me."
"Oh, I'm sorry Colby but holy crap you can jump." Sam laughed, sitting down beside me.
"Hey do you think I can borrow your computer?" Sam asked kindly, like always.
"Yeah sure. For what though?"
"Just for editing my video."
"Yeah that's fine but promise me you'll transfer all your stuff back to your computer when you are done."
"I promise. Thanks Colbs." I handed my computer to him, letting him do whatever he needed to do. As Sam was editing, I was on my phone. I checked all my emails, my Instagram, and now working on my Twitter. While I was debating Tweeting anything I got a massage for Brennen.
ΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞ
Brennen= B Colby= C
B- So, you want to talk to me about something?
C- talk about what?
B- Talk about you and Sam
C-Bro, what are talking about?
B- Are you fucking gay?!
B- cuz you know how I feel about gay people
ΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞΞ
Panic was starting to get to me.
"How did me find about me and Sam?! Is he joking? No, he's serious. Oh god, what do I do? I'm going to lose Brennen cause I like a guy. I can't let this happen."
I got up from the couch, pacing trying to think about how Brennen found out.
"Um Colby, are you alright?" I didn't respond. I just kept pacing, terrified that I'm going to lose Brennen.
I sat down, then laid on the floor. "What do I do? How did he find out?"

Sam's pov
Sam didn't need to see or say anything else. He know what was going on as soon as Colby got down to the floor.
"What is it Colby?" Colby didn't respond at first but then mumbled to me softly. "Brennen knows..." Confusion hit me like a truck.
"How did Brennen find out?"
Laying down beside Colby, I handed him a blanket. I'm use to this happening. These happen rather often. I knew what to do with Colby when he gets a panic attack. I don't really say anything to him but I sit or lay beside him. I could tell he was trying to figure this out. Colby's mind often shuts down when he has a panic attack. He crys, he rocks or hold a blanket with him very tightly, he doesn't talk and he shakes.
"Is Colby okay?" Jake walked into the room, watching Colby with concern. I nodded my head and mouth "he's okay, just give us some room."
"Oh. Panic attack?" Jake mouthed back. I nodded again then turned when Colby rolled over. Gently rubbing his back, I tried my best to comfort him.
"It's okay Colby. It will be okay." I whispered to him, moving a little closer to him. I felt his body somewhat relax to my touch but not completely. I knew he felt comfort when I was with him, that's why he calms down in theses situations. He was starting to calm down and I knew it wouldn't be to long but I still kept comforting him.

"He needs you Sam. I don't think he could live without you. He needs you and you need him."