Sure I act like I'm perfectly fine on camera and when I'm around my friends and fans but in reality, I'm slowly killing myself. My best friend, Sam doesn't even seem to notice. It's no surprise to me anyways. Why would he care anyways? He is constantly ignoring me, always with Katrina. I just want to spend time with him. The only time I get to spend time with him is if we are making a video together or asking for help on editing. While he is with Katrina, I'm busying myself with Brennen. I don't think anyone knows what's wrong with me. The only people who has slightly caught on is my fans. They noticed that I'm not that energetic or happy anymore, which isn't surprising to me. I have no idea why I'm like this anyways. I have everything I will ever need but yet I'm not happy. It's like I want happiness but happiness doesn't want me. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just so lost. So broken. I just want my pain to end, permanently.
I wonder why Colby doesn't talk to me anymore. He seems like he wants to talk to me but when he looks at me, it's like there's a underlying anger hiding underneath his blank stare. I know he's tired but sometimes it's just so odd. Colby is just so weird recently. He has been more quiet lately, and just shut off. He keeps telling me he's tired, he's stressed. I believe him but there is just something else that just doesn't add up with him. I want to talk to him but he's always with Brennen or in his room. Last time I tired to talk to Colby is with Katrina and all he did was glare then give Katrina a blank stare. He wouldn't talk to me. I love Colby and I want him to know that but he just seems like he doesn't care. I want him to see that I care for him and very much love him.
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Colby is broken. His thoughts are getting to him, eating him alive. Sam and Colby get into a fight. Colby wants to tell him that he loves him more than a friend. Will the Sam and Colby ever been the same again?