izzy. // ybnfuneral

three

i bit the inside of my lip and finally had the strength to look away from him. "damn." i cursed, tightly gripping the fabric of my sweats, right next to my crotch area.

"no, no, no, no." i stopped myself and squinted my eyes shut. "stop it. don't even go there." i mumbled to myself. 

gazing back into the rearview mirror, i saw that there were about three more people sitting around him, all of them i recognized, but i didn't quite know their names. why would i care?

chris not being there made this even harder. he was visiting his aunt for the weekend. even if we aren't that close, he was still nice to me. in a way.

yawning, then taking a deep breath, i briefly closed my eyes as i took the keys out the ignition and opened the car door with a shaky hand, as i threw one foot after the other out the car.

i grew intensely nervous as i was tempted to look in the direction of his house, just to see if he was looking. 

i glanced over there for about two seconds and of course he was. he was staring right at me, an evil smirk plastered on his face. i felt my heart speed up and instantly regretted my decision.

 i sped walk to the front door of my house and pulled the keys out my hoodie pocket, which ended up on the ground because it slipped through my fingers out of nervousness.

i grumbled incoherent words as i struggled to put the key in the hole for a few seconds, making me have a mini panic attack because i knew they were watching me.

i had finally unlocked the door and was about to slam the door shut when i heard a voice yell "hey!". i stopped mid-step and listened again to see if it was directed at me.

but honestly, who would want to talk to me?

"aye! isaiah!" i whipped my head around to the sound of my name and it was nick who had uttered it. i shuddered as i replayed him calling my name in my head. it sounded so unusual hearing my name come out his mouth. there were even times where i thought he didn't even know what my name was. at school, he would always addressed me as "you" or whatever, if he even addressed me at all.

i trembled under his intense stare, even from across the street. "enjoy your little drive?" he asked in loud voice so i could hear him, in a taunting tone. his friends around him snickered and glared at me as well.

i opened my mouth to say something, anything, even if it wasn't an insult, but i just couldn't. feeling scared and targeted, as if i was about to break down, i ran inside the house and locked the door behind me, startling ms. joyette and my mom who were happily chatting in the kitchen until i came in.

"honey? how was your drive? " my mom asked in a voice laced with concern.

"are you okay dear? you look flushed." ms. joyette commented on my countenance.

i nodded my head, not being able to answer either of them. "fine. i'm good." i mumbled. i walked quickly to the kitchen and dropped my keys into the bowl  and scurried up the stairs into my safe haven: my bedroom.

i sighed in content, shutting the door behind me slipping off my moccasins. i took my hoodie in a swift motion and slipped on a plain black t-shirt that hung off the door of my closet and changed back into the basketball shorts i had on earlier.

i climbed into my bed and engulfed myself in my comforters. the feeling of your bed swallowing you up after a long day is the best feeling in the world.

i got my phone off the table next to me and checked the time. 7:32 p.m.

wow. it wasn't even late. kids my age would be out with their friends, talking on the phone with several people, or waiting till sunday evening to finish homework.