Heartless B*tch

Chapter Forty Six: Stage One

Chapter Forty Six

Stage One: In-Denial

Kausap ko sya dalawang oras lang ang nakalipas a? Pa’no nangyari yon?

“Anak?”

“Po.”

We lost him.

I don’t remember how I closed my conversation with Tito Aki..

Kakasabi ko pa lang a? 

Teka lang..

Tears started to fall down..

Heavy and hard.

Parang.. hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. Hindi totoo 'to di ba? Hihintayin mo ko di ba? Sabi mo 'yon.  Sabi mo hindi mo ko iiwan.. Sabi mo..

It's like my whole world shattered into pieces with those three words..

We lost him.

I feel numb.. My Hands.. My legs..

Sumikip yung dibdib ko.

We lost him.

 I have all my faith on you.. ALL of it..

Kakasabi ko lang di ba?.. Labag sa loob ko yung mga sinabi ko kanina.. Ayoko pa pala, hindi ko pala kaya. Hindi ko pala kayang wala ka.. Yuuri naman e.. Hinihintay mo lang ba yung basbas ko? Tangina. Sana pala hindi ko na lang sinabi,

We lost him.

 Appa..

Wala na sya.

I could really feel the pain in my chest..

I was so confused..

I spent hours.. Crying.

And when I regained a portion of myself, I texted two friends: Ashley and Valerie.

The first one who replied was Valerie.

Ang reply ko lang sa kanya was..

'Anong gagawin ko??'

I was lost. 

I was out of my mind..

Later on, nagkaroon ng conference sa buong Puschia..

Wala rin akong matandaan sa conference..

I was so dazed, I can’t remember anything.

After the conference, pumunta si Ashley at Em sa bahay.

Sobrang gabi na noon pero nakapunta pa rin sila.

Hindi na ko umiiyak noon.

Pero nakalimutan ko na naman kung bakit ako umiyak kanina.

“Okay ka lang?” Tanong ni Em sa’kin.

“Ewan ko.”

Sabi nila sa’kin noon umiyak lang daw ako pero..

Wala.

Hindi ko alam kung naubos na yung luha ko kakaiyak o hindi lang talaga ako sanay umiyak sa harap ng ibang tao..

Em ang Ashley even offered to sleep in our house pero sabi ko sakto lang ako.

Hating gabi na sila umuwi no’n..

At hindi ko na rin alam kung pa’no ako nakatulog..

O talaga bang natulog ako.

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