My Real Friend

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[Scene cuts to the Arena, in the middle of a training session]

Hiccup: You know, I just happened to notice the book had nothing on Night Furies. Is there another book? Or a sequel? Maybe a little Night Fury pamphlet?

[A Nadder fires at her]

Hiccup: WHOA!

Gobber: Focus, Hiccup! You're not even trying!

Gobber (cont.): Today is all about ATTACK! Nadders are quick and light on their feet! Your job is to be quicker and lighter!

Fishlegs: AAAAAH! I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods!

Gobber: Look for its blind spot. Every dragon has one. Find it, hide in it, and strike!

Ruffnut: Ugh! Do you ever bathe?

Tuffnut: If you don't like it, then just get your own blind spot!

Ruffnut: How about I give you one?!

[The Nadder attacks the twins]

Gobber: Blind spot, yes. Deaf spot? Not so much. Heh, heh, heh.

Hiccup: Hey, so how would one sneak up on a Night Fury?

Gobber: No one's ever met one and lived to tell the tale. [Snapping] NOW, GET IN THERE!

Gobber (thinking): At least she is warming up to the idea of killing a dragon.

Hiccup: I know, I know, but hypothetically--

Asher: [Whispering] Hiccup! Get down!

Snotlout: Watch out. I'll take care of this. [tosses hammer at Nadder, but misses]

Asher: Hey!

Snotlout: The sun was in my eyes, Asher! What do you want me to do, block out the sun? I could do that, but I don't have time right now!

Hiccup: They probably take the daytime off. You know, like a cat. Has anyone ever seen one napping?

Gobber: Hiccup!

[The walls start toppling as Asher starts leaping from wall to wall, the Nadder behind him. Asher jumps off the last collapsing wall, right onto Hiccup]

Asher: HICCUP!

Tuffnut: Oooh! Love on the battlefield!

Ruffnut: He could do better.

Hiccup: Just... let me... why don't you...

[Asher yanks the axe off Hiccup's shield and swings it at the Nadder]

Gobber: Well done, Asher.

Asher: [to Hiccup] Is this some kind of a joke to you?! Our parents' war is about to become ours! Figure out which side you're on.

Hiccup: Yes yes it is. And I'm on the side of peace. What side are you on the side that will continue to kill all the village but hey have fun  fighting and dying I am leaving to go make peace. (Starts to leave) Oh and by the way even if I was all for fighting and I had to pick a side I would pick the dragons, because least they aren't maniacs that would hurt me just to hurt me maybe they would like what I have to offer instead of here. Later non-viking Hofferson, I hope you get the scar that you want. (Leaves)

Ruffnut: Whoa. You just got told.

Asher: Shut up!

[Scene cuts to at the cove.]

[Hiccup approaches with a fish, leaving her shield behind]

[The Night Fury creeps out from behind rock. Sniffs at Hiccup and the fish, slowly approaches, then retreats upon seeing Hiccup's knife. (Carries to carve stuff just in case) Realizing the dragon feels threatened, Hiccup kicks her knife into water. The Night Fury relaxes and quickly acts friendly, and slowly takes the fish from Hiccup's hand, revealing a toothless mouth]

Hiccup: Huh. Toothless. I could've sworn you had...

[Toothless' teeth suddenly pop out of his gums and he snatches the fish, chomping it in half]

Hiccup (cont.): ...teeth. (Toothless approaches, sniffing Hiccup) Uh, uh, no, no, no. I-I don't have any more.

[Toothless regurgitates half of the fish, and proceeds to direct Hiccup through biting and swallowing it. Toothless then tries to return Hiccup's smile. He then snarls and flies away when Hiccup reaches towards him. He ignites a small patch of dirt and sleeps on top of it. Hiccup tries to interact with him but fails to so she runs off.]

[After some time, Toothless sleeps, hanging upside down like a bat, and wakes up to find Hiccup drawing Toothless in the sand, Toothless then use a branch to 'draw' Hiccup in the dirt and becomes angry when Hiccup steps on his lines. Hiccup test this out a few times then she steps over the lines to finally reach Toothless. Hiccup tries to touch Toothless but then realized something so she offers her hand to Toothless while looking away, Toothless finally trusts Hiccup enough to touch his nose to Hiccup's hand. Toothless snorts and runs away.]

[Scene cuts to on top the watch tower at night]

Gobber: ...And with one twist, he took my hand, and swallowed it whole. And I saw the look on his face: I was delicious. He must have passed the word, because it wasn't a month before another one of them took my leg.

Fishlegs: Isn't it weird to think that your hand was inside a dragon? Like if your mind was still in control of it, you could have killed the dragon from the inside by... crushing his heart, or something.

Hiccup: You know that's impossible right?

Snotlout: I swear, I'm so angry right now! I'll avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. I'll chop off the legs of every dragon I fight. With my face!

Gobber: Un-unh. It's the wings and the tails you really want. If it can't fly, it can't get away. A downed dragon is a dead dragon. Alright. I'm off to bed. You should be, too. Tomorrow we get to the big boys. Slowly but surely making our way up to the Monstrous Nightmare. But who'll win the honor of killing it?

Tuffnut: It's gonna be me. It's my destiny. See?

Fishlegs: [Gasp] Your Mom let you get a tattoo?

Tuffnut: It's not a tattoo. It's a birthmark.

Hiccup: I see who's getting in trouble with their mom eventually.

Ruffnut: Okay, I've been stuck with you since birth, and that was never there before.

Tuffnut: Yes, it was. You've just never seen me from the left side until now.

Hiccup: No, it's in color so yeah trouble for you. And since I hate all of you except maybe fishlegs I'm leaving to hang out with my dragon friend. Maybe I'll make him a gift. (Leaves)

Asher: Ok she has to be going insane.

Tuffnut: Nothing wrong with a little insanity. However making up a fake dragon friend is more insane then I'm used to.

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