Opposites attract

Brittany Spears moment...

"You...have feelings for me?" I managed to choke out.
Chris stared at me warily, waiting for more of a reaction, I suppose. Where the hell had this come from? Chris had never once shown any interest in me, not even slightly. This had to be the last thing I was expecting to hear, and perhaps the most uncomfortable. How could he like me? Not even I liked me!

He nodded slowly then folded his arms, "I told you that you wouldn't wanna hear it".
I didn't know how to respond to that. Maybe he'd been right. This was something I would've been much better off not knowing, there was already so much tension between everyone I knew, this would just make it all 100 times worse, from every angle.

"Chris" I sighed forcing myself to look him in the eyes, "are you sure?"
Maybe this was just a reaction to all the time we'd been spending together in detention, maybe after a couple of weeks away from each other he'd realized that we were just meant to be best friends. That's what I needed him to be for me and that's all I could be for him.
"Wow" he laughed, "I just told you that I like you and your response is 'are you sure'?"

I shrugged but remained silent. I wanted him to answer the question.
"I don't think you realize how easy it is for guys to fall for you Blakely" Chris stated shaking his head, "I've never met anyone like you in my entire life, you're so self sacrificing and loyal and kind to the point where you do things for people that they should be doing for you. I mean, you forgave Lucas and I, you sacrifice yourself time and time again for Lucas and just about anyone else. Don't act surprised that I like you".

"I'm not acting" I sighed staring at my hands. I didn't know what to think, or do or say. Chris liking me was different to Ryan liking me. Chris was my friend, someone who's company I truly enjoyed and also might I add, Chris was Lucas'  best friend. Even when there was bad blood between them, like now, they were still best friends, almost like me and Emma had been. There was trouble written all over this entire situation, "what do you want me to say?" I asked so quietly, it was just about a whisper.

"Well" Chris sighed, "in a perfect world I'd want you to say that you feel the same and you want nothing to do with anyone but me. That would really be a dream but...this is reality and all I can ask for is the truth".

I wiped my hands on my jeans to remove the moisture that was building up then I let out a deep breath before forcing myself to talk. I was still in shock so I knew nothing I said would make any sense, "you're...amazing Chris, really" I shook my head slowly then pushed the baby hairs around my face back in with the rest of my hair, "and I like you as well, just not like that..."

I had decided against mentioning Lucas. There was no need to make this any worse for Chris.
"I'm sorry" I finished pathetically. I didn't know what to do to make him feel okay.
He smiled at me but it didn't reach his eyes, "it's okay, B. You can't apologize for how you feel, that's stupid".
"I know but if I could feel differently..." I didn't finish that sentence because I realized too late that it would've been a lie.

I didn't want to feel differently, I didn't want to not like Lucas. What I had with him, despite all the drama it caused was something I couldn't ever regret or willingly give up, not even for Chris' sake. Saying that I would do that just to make him feel better felt wrong.

"You wouldn't want to" he finished for me staring out the window on his side. I didn't answer. How the hell had I made this worse? As anyone could've guessed I was very inexperienced in these sort of situations, I didn't know what to say to make his smile real.

"But if I could take away how upset you are I would" I traded eventually when I remembered my reasons for going to his house to begin with, I'd wanted to find out what was hurting him then hunt down a baseball bat to destroy it. I hadn't expected to be smacking myself over the head with the bat.