Opposites attract

Not this time sweetheart

I drove home after Emma's house, and not to my dad's home either, I went to my old house. I needed to be away from everyone, and my dad's girlfriend sometimes went to our house while we were at school and work to let the cleaner in and feed my dad's bird. Yeah, he had a bird.
Because of that, I didn't want to risk running into anyone right now, my head was all over the place, I felt as though I'd lost so many people in so little time and it was all my fault. I wasn't sure if Chris still wanted to be friends with me, I'd kissed Lucas and probably scared him off and I'd disappointed Emma by liking the one guy that neither of us ever thought I would.

Being alone at my old house actually sounded good, I needed space and a place to think where I knew I wouldn't be interrupted. So you can probably guess why I was so annoyed when I turned into the driveway and had to stop halfway because of the black SUV parked in my usual spot. I pulled out of the driveway and parked on the gutter instead, then I got out and went to investigate.

There was a middle aged man with very little hair on his head in the drivers seat who I didn't recognize, and right next to him was a woman. At first I couldn't see her face at all, but when I did, I swear my heart stopped for a moment.
"Mom?" I frowned. They both looked across at me and then I was certain, it was her.
She pushed her door open and stepped out of the car. I walked around it to meet her on the passengers side.

"Hi Blakely" she smiled, her eyes were glossy and her bottom lip quivered slightly. My eyebrows pulled together and I stared at her as she stepped closer towards me, I involuntarily took a step back to distance us again. The man in the SUV began pulling out of the driveway and had I not been so shocked, I would've figured out he was probably an Uber driver.

"Sweetie" she began as she held her hand out to me. "I don't want to hear it" I said firmly rejecting her hand.
"Honey, I'm sorry. Why don't we go inside and talk?" She suggested attempting to step towards me again. "Why don't I go inside and you book a hotel then never come back" I suggested crossing my arms tightly.
"What?" Her expression was somewhere in between confused and hurt, and of course I cared, but I'd been confused and hurt for the past few weeks, I'd missed my mom and I didn't know when I'd get to see her again. I couldn't believe she did that to me.

"This is dad's house, he bought the whole thing himself, right? You're not his wife anymore but I'm still his daughter, so I have every right to tell you you're not welcome" I explained with as little emotion as I could. "But...Blakely, we lived here together, just us for so long, I though-".
"You thought wrong" I snapped, "I don't even know why dad was the one who left when this was his place. Just another thing your selfishness cost someone in your family, huh?"
My mom blinked once and that allowed the tears that had been building up to squeeze out of her eyes and down her face. I hated seeing her like this, I hated that I was the cause even more, but Lucas was right, I was a push over and I always let people get away with things that they didn't deserve to get away with.

My mom had hurt me more than anyone else could, she had left and I needed her more than anyone else in the world. "You didn't even say goodbye" my voice cracked and I knew if I didn't walk away from her soon I wouldn't be able to hold it together.
"Blakely I am so sorry, I love you so much and I wish I hadn't left" she sighed stepping closer to me. "I wish you hadn't left either mom...but you did, and I needed you" I chewed on my lip to distract from the sinking feeling in my stomach, "I don't get it...was it me? Did I do something wrong?".

My mother placed her hand on my arm and I let her, "no, sweetheart you didn't" she smiled through her tears, "you've never done anything wrong, it was me, I shouldn't have left you".
"But you did, I want to blame you but I'm starting to wonder if I just drive people away and I'm the one to blame" I sniffed looking down at my feet, "if there's a reoccurring pattern, you're supposed to review every possible cause, including yourself, right?" I quoted my mother's words from 10 years ago.

"Not this time sweetheart, all you've ever done is be kind and show love to people who don't deserve it" my mom argued. She moved her hands to my face and brushed the loose strands of hair from my cheeks. "So why do I drive everyone away" I finally broke. My mother pulled me into her arms and I sobbed quietly into her shoulder. She smelt the same as she always did, and her hug made me feel safe and like everything would be okay, the way it always used to. I was mad at her, but I needed her more than I needed to express my anger.

"Why don't we go inside" she suggested kissing my forehead. I nodded and followed her to the front door. I was expecting to have to open the door but to my surprise she had her own key. We walked in and for the first time in a while it really did feel like home. Maybe what I'd been missing was just my mom.

Mom dropped her suitcase next to the door then walked with me into the living room. I dropped onto the couch and she sat down next to me, as soon as she was there I rested my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes softly. "You'll be okay sweetie" she promised wrapping her arm around me. Would I really? I felt okay in that moment, but I knew it wouldn't last forever, I knew Chris probably still hated me, Emma still thought I was an idiot, Lucas still didn't want to talk to me and my mom, even though she was here right now still left me.