How to Save the World and Other Illegal Shenanigans

101 Wrong Ways To Escape A Conversation

Vance didn't move when a suspicious blonde man sat across from him at the cafe. He simply continued to sip his tea as people ran out of the streets to take cover from the crimson deluge. The new man crossed his arms, unbothered.

"Looks like you're getting on just fine," Amiel noted. Vance shrugged, then placed his saucer down and looked at the angel. A cool breeze fluttered Amiel's blonde mop of hair, which looked slightly windswept, as though he'd just fallen from the sky. Vance also noted how the bloody raindrops simply avoided the area where Amiel sat. Angels. Always one step ahead.

"I'm doing swell, yes." Vance didn't particularly feel like small talk. "You disappeared for awhile. What happened?"

Memories flooded through Amiel's head, ranging anywhere from the fourteenth century to last week. He sighed, then dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand.

"It's not important."

"Well, it kind of is," Vance countered. "You show up and want something from me, but you can't tell me any good reason why I should trust you after last time?"

"It's the apocalypse," Amiel blurted out. Unsurprisingly, his phrase was echoed several times around the street as people sobbed and cowered inside.

Vance, however, doesn't pay them any attention. He narrows his eyes at Amiel. "Give me one reason to believe you."

"It's raining blood."

"Give me one good reason to believe you."

"Death is missing, and a nuclear war is on the verge."

Vance settled back into his chair. The raining blood thing had actually been a very good reason for Vance, but he still didn't want to accept it as the beginning of the End. It's far too early. Last time Vance snuck into the Divine library, the book said the world would end some time in the twenty fifth century, not the twenty first. He drummed his fingers against the table.

"And what do you want me to do about it? Certainly The Powers That Be can sort it out."

"You must not have heard about the Human Resources clause."

"The what?"

"The Human Resources clause," began Amiel with a sigh, "states that the Divine cannot directly intervene with humans. So we have to work through monsters and halflings and such. Which makes this your problem, because I've delegated it to you."

"Thanks," Vance says sarcastically. His mind catches on one detail. "Both sides have to work together?"

"Zacarioth has a partner for you."

Vance let out the most dramatic sigh as he slouched further down in his chair. He'd hoped that he never had to hear that name again, not after last time.

"I actually have your first assignment," Amiel continues obliviously. "You'll meet at President Brettley's next rally. The goal right now is to start to get ideas of something other than nuclear war in their minds. So, get into their ranks, go to their meetings, do what you have to do. I hear Alex is quite persuasive, so you two should have a good time." Nodding along, Vance tries to picture his new partner as amenable, but fails to do so. Not when they're working with that wretched Zacarioth. "She'll meet you downtown. Just try not to blow anything up."

Vance froze.

"She?"