The Story Of Our Lives.

26. Sorry's not enough

Bellamy stood directly in front of her. He was so close he could feel her heavy breathing on his chin as she looked up at him.

"I love you Clarke. I'm sorry I put you through this." Bellamy whispered. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before walking past her to leave.

"Wait." Clarke called over her shoulder.

Bellamy turned around and looked at Clarke. She looked like she was going to say something until she shook her head and folded her arms across her chest.

"I'll call you." She muttered.

Bellamy nodded and swiftly left the apartment. On his way out he pulled his phone out his pocket and sent a text to Roan.

She knows.

He shoved his phone in his pocket again and walked out into the warm summer air. Octavia's wedding was in three days. Bellamy and Clarke were supposed to walk down the aisle together in front of Octavia. Now he wasn't sure if Clarke would be comfortable with that. He wasn't even sure if Octavia knew. All Bellamy knew was that he'd totally messed up and he had no idea how he was supposed to make anything better.

He found himself sitting at his local bar, Raven behind the bar. Of all places, he ended up back here. This is exactly where he'd found Clarke after she found out he'd slept with Gina. Now it was his turn to drink away his sorrows.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Raven asked as she wiped the bar in front of him.

"I'm a dick." Bellamy replied as he downed his drink. He tapped it against the wooden surface for Raven to refill.

"Care to elaborate?" Raven smirked.

"No." Bellamy simply replied. The second drink disappeared just as quickly as the first.

"You and Clarke have a fight?" Raven asked as she refilled his glass again.

"You could say that." Bellamy replied bluntly.

"What did you do?" Raven teased.

"Doesn't matter. All you need to know is I fucked up." Bellamy said as he downed his drink again.

Raven simply shook her head before leaving Bellamy alone with the bottle of whiskey to go and serve another customer. Bellamy topped himself up and stared down at the amber liquid.

"You wanna take it easy on that stuff." A deep voice said behind him.

"Shouldn't you be comforting your sister?" Bellamy smirked.

"Not until she asks me to. She doesn't know that I knew, I intend to keep it that way." Roan chuckled as he sat down beside his best friend.

"How did you know I was here?" Bellamy asked.

"Call it brotherly intuition. Plus we've been best friends for nine years Bellamy. I know you." Roan smirked.

Roan grabbed himself a glass from over the bar. He knew Raven wouldn't mind. He took the bottle from Bellamy and poured himself a drink.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" Bellamy mumbled.

"Eventually. She's a stubborn one. Took her almost a year to forgive me after I broke one of her dolls when we were kids." Roan chuckled at the memory.

"This isn't just a doll. I lied to her Roan. I kept this stupid secret from her and betrayed her." Bellamy scoffed.

"Maybe so. But you had good intentions." Roan shrugged.

"You mean I was a coward. I should have just told her." Bellamy sighed.

"Look. Octavia is getting married in three days. That means nothing can go wrong, including you and Clarke being present and happy as you walk down the aisle together. Just do whatever you have to do to fix this mess." Roan said. He downed the rest of his drink and gave Bellamy a pat on the shoulder before leaving the bar.

Bellamy looked into his empty glass as Roan's words sank in. He was right, he had to make sure Octavia's wedding was perfect. After a few seconds of deep thought, Bellamy slammed some money down onto the bar and abruptly left.

Before he knew it he was back outside Clarke's apartment door. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It opened slowly and Clarke appeared on the other side.

"Bellamy? What are you doing here?" Clarke asked. Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"Can I come in?" Bellamy asked.

"I told you, Bell. I need time." Clarke sighed.

"Five minutes. Just hear me out and then I'll leave you alone until you come to me. I promise." Bellamy said seriously.

Clarke reluctantly nodded her head and opened the door wider for Bellamy to enter the apartment.

"What is it?" Clarke said as she closed the door behind him.

"I fucked up. I know I did. I know that I made the biggest mistake of my life even going to see Gina that night, let alone doing what I did. But until that kid is born and a DNA test confirms it's mine, I'm not interested. I want nothing to do with her. I know I should have told you the truth but I was scared. I was terrified in fact. I was terrified you would hate me and leave me. Ever since I first started falling for you, I imagined the day I found out I was going to be a father. You know what I saw?" Bellamy paused for Clarke to answer.

"What did you see?"

"I saw you running into our bedroom, a ring on your finger, holding a pregnancy test. I imagined the brightest smile on your face as you told me I was going to become a father. I imagined it being one of the best moments of my life. I want that future for us Clarke. I want us to get married and have kids and own our own house. I want us to be happy." Bellamy said desperately.

"But what if it is yours? Gina seemed pretty positive it was yours." Clarke said.

"Then we'll figure it out. It doesn't change anything Clarke. Even if it is mine, I still want that future with you! You are the love of my life Clarke and I'm not ready to let you go. Not now, not ever." Bellamy replied.

"Do you really think she's going to be happy with the father of her child being with someone else?" Clarke argued.

"I don't care! I don't care what she thinks is going to happen. My future is with you. Not her. Look, Octavia's wedding is three days away and we're supposed to be walking down the aisle together. I promised her nothing would go wrong." Bellamy took a step closer. "So I'm going to leave you alone. I'm not going to call or text or visit you. I'm going to give you time. If you're there to walk down the aisle beside me, I'll know you still want this. If not, then I'll know your answer. It's your choice."

Bellamy didn't even give Clarke a chance to respond. He pushed his lips to hers with force and swiftly left the apartment. Now all he could do was wait to see if Clarke showed up.