CHAPTER 40 whut whut

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50k what is life. (WHAT IS LOOOOOOVE BABY DON'T HURT ME BABY DON'T HURT ME NO MOOOOOOORE). but seriously like how is that even possible like what omg I'm so thankful! & also yes, I am still alive haha, my depression & anxiety have been really bad lately & I've had a ton of school work, so I haven't been able to write, but I'm here now!  okay chapter time byyye!

TRIS POV

I wake up in a panic, my heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweating, you know, the tell-tale signs of fear. The nightmares never seem to stop. They're usually the same, but lately they have been changing, getting more twisted. They've started to become my flashbacks mixed with my fears. Peter pushing Tobias off of the Chasm instead of me. Being burned alive by Marcus and Peter instead of just Peter. Things like that.

I know I won't be able to fall asleep again so I just lay down, staring up at the roof, listening to Tobias's light breathes and slowly seeing the room fill with light as the sun rises. There's still two hours until initiation. Two  hours until Tobias wake up. Two hours of loneliness.

TIME LAPSE Heyya

I sit awake for 2 slow hours and when I hear the alarm go off I wait until Tobias gets up to move. He groans and pushes himself up. Tobias turns towards me and goes to shake me awake. He jumps back slightly when he realizes I'm awake.

"Nightmare?" He says gruffly. I just nod. "You should have woken me up,," he says, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his dark blue eyes. " I was okay once I woke up, I just couldn't fall back asleep, plus I didn't want you to be grumpy today," I sayx sticking my tongue out. I'm feeling much better then I did yesterday. I know Tobias will keep me safe.

We stand up and get ready for initiation,  all we have to do os finish the fights and maybe do some shooting. I hear a knock at the door and go to see who it is. The knocking is nonstop, so I can guess it's either very important or one of our friends.

I open the door and see Zeke and Uriah standing at our door with theor usual smiles. "Candor or Dauntless,  my house, 8 o'clock," Uriah says and eith that they leave. Well atleast I have something to look forward to tonight. I close the dorr and go to get ready again..

Sorry very very very boring chapter ugh, I'm super tired & this is just a filler! I will update soon! & I've decided that for 50k I will tell you guys so facts about me! As always comment suggestions and opinions! Ilyg,  byee! ( I need suggestions for t or d!)

QOTC: Favorite insurgent quote?

AOTC: (idk if its an wxact quote but you will get the jist)
"Sleep," Tobias says
"What if I have nightmares?" I reply.
"I'll fight them off" He says.
"With what?" I ask.
"My bare hands, obviously" Tobias says and I laugh.

OKAY FACT TIME!

1. I'm 5'4" so average height
2. I almost never get enough sleep
3. It's wicked hot in my room ew
4. I have lots of nicknames, including; Blondey, Banchee, Roo, Pinky, RoRo, slut (my good friends call me that xD) and loser haha
5. If you couldn't tell by my nicknames, my first name begins with "Ro"
6. This is my 10th year playing soccer (:
7. Its currently 12:22am
8. I absolutely love rain storms and thunder showers
9. I struggle with depression,  anxiety, mild ed and suicidal thoughts, I want you guys to know this so you guys know you're never alone and if you need someone to talk to, you can private message me (:
10. I like even numbers & hate odd numbers
11. I love spicy cheetos
12. Two of my best friends wrote fanfics, they're wattpads are nancymsousa (shoey fanfic) and  fluentlydaydreaming (Ouran highschool host club anime fanfic)

13. My sister and I always watch "The Secret Life of an American Teenager" together

14. SHEO IS MY OTP
15. umm Theo is bae
16. I have an instagram but I won't give it out teehee
17. I like to wear pink on wednesdays bc Mean Girls
18. I show my affection to my friends by gently bullying them
19. I'm Catholic & I agree with gay marrige and equality
20. I have 2 dogs named Rudy and Boo (boys) , 3 cats Named Luke, Coalie (boys) and G.G (girl) and 2 bunnies names Thor and Loki ( boys)
21. I love you guys so much and this story means the world to me, so thank ou for every comment, vote and read, it always makes me smile
22. I have Minnie Mouse sheets on my bed xD

If you read all of my facts comment "I like pancakes" xD byeee!

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