When It Comes To You |j.k

63: 紅洋裝

I am not about to have an argument with her in front of all these eyes, "Cut the tone. Keep it at home." I give her waist a squeeze before guiding both of us through the door, smiling and bidding the reporters goodbye as I did so.

***

"What was that?" I loosened my tie with a glower, closing the door behind us.

"What?" Aera made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

"What do you mean, 'what'? The whole evening that you spent ignoring my touch, or was it the whole week? How about pretending that we're not in a relationship, or even fucking engaged?" I grit as I tossed my blazer to the couch.

"Jungkook," Aera exhaled, pausing to look at me. And her gaze was different this time. This Aera is different from the one I've been dealing with all week. She isn't putting up a wall, she isn't being distant. But instead she seemed tired, and burdened, even. My furrowed eyebrows relax into one of concern.

"What is it?" I tried to sound as not-accusing as possible, taking small steps to her. Aera shrugged then, with eyes casted down. I take a seat on the stool across her by the counter.

"Aera?" I tried again.

Her words then came out in a quiet mumble, "I just don't want people to see us together."

Now that's something I'm hearing for the first time. Is that why she's been so dodgy with me, especially in public? I asked her why, and she shrugged again. Aera obviously hasn't been anticipating this conversation.

"Because...I don't like it when our relationship's put under a microscope for everyone to investigate. It makes me uncomfortable, Jungkook. You could touch my elbow, and all I'd see on my phone the next day would be your hand on my skin.

"Every time you do something sweet to me, my heart melts because I know you only do it to me, and only because you love me. But now I just get scared, Jungkook. I get scared that the intimacy between us will be taken away, and every moment that makes my heart feel warm will be everyone else's moment too."

I look at the shaking fists by her side, trying not to let my eyes water at the thought of Aera being afraid every time that I'm near her, "Do you feel like that even when we're alone? How about now?"

I can hear her gulp from my end of the kitchen counter, "A little. Just because I can't shut out the fear that someone's hiding behind a window, or something like that."

It was hard to hold back a sigh. I released my breath as softly as possible, despite how devastating the situation has become. I don't know how it feels to be thrown into the spotlight, nor do I know what to do when someone I love is going through it. I was born into it, that might sound worse, but feeling numb to the situation is a lot easier like that. It feels normal, no matter how wrong it is.

"I'm not afraid of you, Jungkook. Just being seen with you." Aera tried to comfort me. But is that better? At all?

"I won't touch you in public if that's what you need. Just don't ignore me when it's only the two of us. It hurts me when you do that."

I hesitated to add the last words. I don't want to make this about me, because she's obviously the one suffering, but I still want her to know this. I still want her to know the amount of impact she has on me, and how important it is between us that we communicate. Things will only get harder. If we can't stick together now...I don't want to think about what that'd make of our future.

"I spent the last week wondering if you still loved me or not. And it was tearing me apart."

My eyes followed Aera, who was slowly making her way to my side. I stayed seated as she held my head and guided it to her chest. I almost broke into tears, because I really don't remember the last time she's touched me this week. I never thought I would find myself missing the touch of her fingers resting in my hair.

"I'm sorry." Her honey-coated voice spoke quietly when my arms left the table to hug her waist. I can understand now, how important physical contact is. I can love Aera without ever looking at her body, or her face. I can love her without her physical beauty. But for the past few days that I went without touching her, I've truly never felt less connected. She seemed so far away from me, and I was almost about to accept that.

Aera's warm touch reminded me so much of what I've been missing. Her scent right under my nose. The tender feel of her fingers. Her heart beating so close for me to hear.

It was a wake up call, in a way, telling me that I can't get used to this. This heaven that her presence brings me. I must cherish it every day, as if it'd fade away the next. It was only after I've been cut of this heaven a second time, that I realized how lucky I am to have this woman by my side.

"I shouldn't have dealt with it by avoiding you." I turned my head to rest my nose into her skin, taking in her scent with my eyes closed tight. My heart officially took flight when Aera bent down to kiss my head.

"You were so beautiful tonight in this dress." It didn't matter that this was ridiculously off topic, it's been hiding underneath my tongue all night. Having my arms around her figure only made it harder to keep it in.

Aera, as cool as she is, was quick to catch up when she pulled away and stood far enough for me to get a full view. A hidden shy smile danced on her lips when she did a twirl.

"Would you rather see this here in the kitchen," She looks to the ceiling, "Or on the floor upstairs in the bedroom?" This woman will be the death of me, mark my words.

Aera then leans in with a hand sliding slyly up my neck, sending shivers down my spine as she whispers, "Your call...honey."

-

A/N: (unedited)
he do be a bottom tonight my friends...

sorry for such a late update! i just moved to the other side of the world....i was seriously unable to do much of anything else.

i will update my namjoon book soon as well, hopefully tomorrow, as i'm already behind schedule.

again, thank you for sticking around! let's all stay safe in this trying time. practice wearing your mask when going outdoors and washing your hands when leaving to a different space! let's all protect ourselves and each other.