60: 鏟子

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Pushing the blanket away from my face, I woke up finally to see my fiancé still sleeping soundly next to me. I remembered that we cuddled to sleep, but one of us must've moved too much. He was shirtless as usual with his arms over his head. It took quite a bit in me to fight the urge of touching him, or at least leaving a kiss. Jungkook rarely sleeps any longer than I do, he deserves the extra rest.

Slipping off of the bed quietly, I tiptoed to the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the tap water. I cannot bear being the one to wake him.

Picking out one of the two toothbrushes, I was reminded of my other belongings at my actual house. I've got to move everything and end my contract soon. Hopefully my address wasn't leaked along with everything else. I wouldn't know. I haven't looked at social media nor the news. If not, chances are, Jungkook and I can use it as a hiding place; until it eventually gets found out like everything else, obviously.

Being alone tends to make our minds work to occupy ourselves with thoughts. I started thinking about our marriage. I wonder if Jungkook wants kids in the future. It's nothing to bring up now, we're both young and in our peak years. He's busy enough with the company, and I already struggle balancing my time with Jungkook and Lana as is. And while I'm young, I do want to start living for myself. I still have desires, other than to see those that I love. Maybe I should pick up dancing again, or take on something more foreign to me, like writing.
I know I shouldn't always rely on others to feel happiness.

Ruckus from the other side of the door shakes me from my train of thought. I carefully let the door open and see Jungkook stumbling off the bed in his boxers, nearly falling to the floor. His hair is disheveled and his eyes are barely open.

"Are you alright?" I comment with the toothbrush still in my mouth. He stumbles his way to me and completely takes me by surprise when he collapses onto my body, an arm draping heavily over my shoulder. This felt unusual. Something was wrong. I don't know why, or what. But I just know.

I pat his back when he stayed unmoved, "Jungkook?"

I took a whiff at his skin and patted him once more in attempt to wake him. He smells of alcohol, much to my surprise. He's incredibly heavy and it makes him even harder to carry when his whole body's limp.

"Did you even sleep last night?" I shifted us toward the sink as I abandoned the toothbrush, spitting out the residue. Now with my full attention on him, I turn him to the counter to lessen my burden on his weight. Jungkook wouldn't budge off of me though. It felt nice, with his warm skin against mine and all, but it was worrying with his lack of response and smell of liquor.
I lift my arm to pat his hair with my eyebrows scrunched.

"Aera," He groaned, lips tickling at my neck. "What do I do?"

His arms tightened around my waist with his forehead dropping to my shoulder. I grew more troubled when the drunken man on top of me started whimpering, and shaking, like he was trying not to cry.

It was only a matter of seconds before he broke and began to sob into my shoulder. Jungkook doesn't cry much, despite being sensitive and living so stressfully. I can assume it's the alcohol doing the work, but I know it hurt enough for him to have drank so much, as far as to cry like this. My chest was getting wet of his tears while he rubbed his head against me, but that was far from what really bothered me.

"Jungkook, what's wrong?" I couldn't hide the panic from my voice, it came out shaky as much as I tried to remain calm for him. But this was a new situation, and only now can I truly understand how he feels whenever I break down on him. It hurts to see someone you love crumble, and it hurts even more to find that you can't make it better.

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