33: 尋求妳

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3 years later

———Jungkook's
The door to the elevator opens and I adjust my tie before stepping out. Before me awaited my employees, who stood on either sides, bowing towards my direction.

I nod, returning the greeting.

Then at the very end stood patiently my assistant, Jun.

He spoke with a smile as he handed me today's schedule, "Happy Birthday, Sir."

I pause.

Right.

The other employees didn't bother to congratulate me and walked off to their own separate work spaces.

i think Jun is the only one here that can really stand me.

People don't like me too much here, but after nearly three years of this? To be honest I'm grown used to it enough that I don't feel offended.

It's been better.

The first year and a half people would stick anonymous forms on the bulletin board and hold petitions to take me off my seat. Most people wouldn't even dare look at me, even just out of respect. My father had warned me about certain people who'd most likely attempt to make me a puppet. I'm young, very young, and just as inexperienced. They had hoped to take advantage of that. They tried to, but I'd spent my last days with my father preparing for this. I didn't let them toy around with me. Now they listen, but they still don't respect me much. Those kinds of things on the other hand, just cannot be forced.

The silent treatment is much better in comparison to what is was like two years ago. I like it.

It gets lonely though.

Sometimes it's me and Jun against the world.

But most of the times it feels like it's just me and myself, against the world.

We stride towards my office and the bland smell of documents and expensive furniture fills my nose the moment the door opens. I step inside and slip into my seat, resting my head back with a sigh as Jun began to recite my schedule.

I don't think nineteen year old me expected to spend his twenty second birthday in an office.

"In follow up to your donation-"

"The company's donation." I corrected.

"But sir, this was done in celebration for your birthday? With your own money, I recall?"

"Yes, but it was on the company's behalf. On the cheque it says that i'd merely signed my name as the company's owner."

He nods and decided not to question it further, "You are scheduled to visit the orphanage this afternoon at 3pm. We spend an hour there with the children. It's mostly for the press to take pictures."

I understand the importance of this, but I don't want the press to follow me inside. I'm not there for publicity. I didn't donate for publicity.

I need to find someone.

Someone significant. Someone important.

Someone, and their sister.

I hadn't done this for business.

"We are on a tight schedule, meaning that we have to leave at 4pm sharp. You will be escorted back to the company immediately for the meeting of the collaboration with Air Seoul Airlines. This is a crucial meeting, so we must make it back here in time, preferably ten minutes early."

Not seeing an issue with the words given to me, I nod once again. He steps off the platform of my table and walks to his own desk, which is also jointed right into my office.

It's hours later and I'm currently in the back seat of the car with my assistant on the wheel.

We're headed to the orphanage.

I was there two years ago. I remember that day. It was my first week with this job as the new owner of Jeon Enterprise. I didn't know what I was doing, not really. People hated me. My mother constantly asked to have this spot during my father's last days. Even now she silently yearns for this seat. She wouldn't understand why I hated my position so much. I felt alone. And I really was.

I wanted to be in someone's arms and I wanted that person to be Aera. That's right. The girl from High school.

If I describe her to people, many would excuse her as an insignificant part of my teenage life. It would seem that way. She was a girl that moved to our school. I'd spent nearly a year with her, and not even a full year. She was simply a high school fling.

But no.

She was so much more than that.

She taught me how to love. She came and flipped my whole world upside down, and the right side up. With her I loved, forgave, grew strong, moved on...lived. I was happy with her. I'd told her everything about myself, not leaving one drop. And she'd whole heartedly accepted me. Really, accepted me. Every flaw, every imperfection, she embraced every bit of me like no one ever had. She showed me feelings that I didn't know I could feel.

I gave myself to her.

With nearly a year, she managed to get me to willingly open myself up to her, and I trusted her more than I did myself.

I lived because of her.

I remember being drained, like all that was left of me was bone and skin. I had Jun look in all the orphanages in the city and it wasn't long until I found her.

I did look for her.

I did go search for her.

And with my own two eyes.

I did see her.

And like a coward, two years ago, I had stood outside the building and watched her move around the room through the window. I stood there until the lights went off. But somehow, my heart only ached more after seeing her.

I saw her.

But I couldn't let her see me.

I couldn't.

She was so close, but too far to reach.

Three years now. So much is different, but nothing has changed.

"Sir." Jun's voice wakes me from my sleep and I step out the car.

My heart pounds at two times the speed with my feet standing right where I stood cowardly two years ago.

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