After (Camren)

Chapter 22

My tears are dry and I am showered and somewhat mentally stable by the time Lucy returns from the movies. 

"So, how was your.. hang out with Lauren?" she asks and grabs her pijamas out of her dresser.

"It was okay, she was her normal ..charming self" I tell her and manage a laugh. I want to tell her about what we did but I am too ashamed. I know she wouldn't judge me but I don't want anyone to know, I just hope Lauren doesn't tell anyone, although I wouldn't put it past her. Lucy looks at me with concern evident in her eyes and I have to look away.

"Just be careful okay, you're too nice for someone like Lauren" she says and I want to hug her and cry into her shoulder. She knows Lauren better than most people and she even thinks I should stay away.

"How was the movie?" I change the subject. She tells me how Tristan kept feeding her popcorn during it and that she is really starting to like him. I want to gag but I know I am just jealous that Tristan actually likes her, the way Lauren doesn't like me. But I do have someone who loves me and I need to start treating him better and stay away from Lauren, for real this time.

Eventually Lucy falls asleep and I do the same shortly after.

The next morning I force myself out of bed and get dressed. I feel drained, I have no energy and I feel like I could cry at any moment. My eyes are red from crying last night so I walk over to Lucy's dresser and grab her makeup bag. I pull out brown eye liner and draw a thin line under my eyes and on my eyelid. It makes my eyes look much better. I put on a little powder just to cover under my eyes and give my skin a little color.  A few swipes of mascara and I look like a new person. I am pleased with the way I look and I put on my tight jeans and a tank top. I feel naked so I grab a white cardigan out of my closet and put it over. This is the most effort I have made in my appearance for a regular school day since picture day my senior year of high school.

I stop by the coffee house and grab Ally a drink too. I am still pretty early to class so I walk slower than usual. 

"Hey, Camila right?" I hear a guy's voice say. I look over and see the preppy boy, Louis I think was his name.

"Yea, Louis right?' I ask him and he nods.

"You coming over again this weekend?" He asks. He must be part of the frat. Of course he is, he is preppy and gorgeous.

"Oh no, not this weekend" I laugh and he joins in.

"Bummer, you were fun. Well, if you change your mind you know where it is" he laughs. "I gotta go or I will be late, see you around" he gives me another smile and walks away.

Ally is already seated and thanks me repeatedly for bringing her coffee.

"You look different today" she says as I sit down.

"I put makeup on" I laugh and she smiles. She doesn't ask about my night with Lauren and I am grateful. I am not ready to talk about it yet. Just as I begin to stop thinking about Lauren, it is time for Literature. 

Lauren is sitting in her normal seat in the front. I want to ask Ally to switch seats with me but I don't want to have to explain why. Lauren is wearing a white t-shirt for once and her tattoos are visible underneath it. It amazes me how attractive I find her tattoos and piercings, I never cared for either before. I look away quickly and pull out my notes. I hope Ally arrives soon so I won't feel so alone with Lauren.

"Camz?" Lauren whispers as the class begins to fill up. No. Don't answer her. Ignore her. I repeat to myself.

"Camz?" She says again, this time louder.

"Do not speak to me Lauren." I say through my teeth and still avoid looking at her. I will not fall back into her trap.

"Oh come on" She says and I can tell she is laughing at me.