Acidic Love (l.h fanfic)

Chapter 8

Paige's POV

There are things in life that just aren't meant to be shared with others. If you knew my whole life, you would think I'd be one of those life-hating teens. But although I may not be the happiest teen, I know something that the others don't know. I know it doesn't matter. If you become president and do all of these great things, you're just gonna die. And sure, people will remember you. But in time, you'll be completely forgotten. In time, the whole human species will swipe out. And no one will remember you. There will be no one left to care about you. So it's not that I hate life, it's that I don't care what happens in my life. Because it just doesn't matter. I know it sounds like I'm being a downer, but it's the truth. So I'm going to keep living my life and feeling what I'm feeling. Because I CAN. But when I die, it won't matter. Why are we afraid of the one thing that's bound to happen?

It's been a week since Luke had his breakdown. Seeing him like that was heartbreaking. The way his body looked so fragile and distant, it made him seem like he was actually dying. And for a minute, I actually thought he did.

I don't blame Luke for not telling me about it. Subjects like that can be hard to talk about. Trust me, I know.

I was sure Luke thought I was a total wuss, considering he's seen me cry TWICE already. Even Michael has only seen me cry once. And that was when the game ripped me off. Yes, he has been my best friend since elementary school.

I grabbed my lunch from my locker, snapping out of the trance I was in, and headed to the lunch room. I took a seat between Michael and Calum

"So Paige, what's going on between you and Luke?!" Calum asked, moving his eyebrows up and down. I laughed at his stupidity

"I dunno. We went to that party together last night but we aren't like dating." Calum squinted his eyes at me.

"Oh yeah? Friends with benefits huh? I saw you two leave early and you were practically pulling him out to his car Paige. Would you like to go into detail about what exactly happened in that car?" Michael asked. My eyes widened as I realized what he was saying

"What the fuck Michael, you know I'm not like that oh my god." He laughed and threw his arm over my shoulder. It hurt from the last incident with my father, but I didn't let him see it.

"I know Paige calm down. But seriously, why did you go home so early though?" He asked. I bit my lip, not wanting to spill everything about Luke to them. I knew this was a touchy subject for him.

"Luke doesn't like parties. So I told him that we'd just go for a little and then we could leave early if he wanted. It's no big deal guys." They nodded, believing my bullshit story.

"Speaking of Luke, where is he?" I asked looking around the lunch room. He's been sitting with us for the past couple of weeks and he never showed up today.

"I don't know, he wasn't in english today either." Michael said, taking the last bite of his sandwich before throwing it away. I furrowed my eyebrows and grabbed my phone, clicking on Luke's contact.

To: Luke

Hey, where are you??

I put my phone away, waiting for him to reply. He never did. Even when I walked to his house and knocked on the door. He didn't answer. And when I saw him through his window with his guitar and blink-182 sweatshirt on, I yelled for him. But he just ignored me. I raised my eyebrow as I thought of a way to get into his room without passing his parents. I ran back to my house and grabbed my dad's latter from the garage and brought it back over to Luke's. I set it up next to his half open window. I climbed up and tapped on his window, opening it immediately and climbing in. He looked up and jumped.

"Holy shit Paige what are you doing?"

"Well if you would have answered me the first ten times, I wouldn't be in your room right now. I looked around his room, taking it all in. He had countless posters on his walls of bands like all time low, green day, and good charlotte. I looked back up at him at his unreadable expression.

"So why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not ignoring you" he replied immediately. I rolled my eyes.

"Bullshit." He sighed and sat down in his chair.

"I wasn't ignoring you. I was ignoring everyone." He said. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"There are days when you just want I be left alone okay Paige? And, god forbid, the ONE time you want to be left alone, someone actually wants to talk to you." He was pissed. But I knew there had to be something behind it all. His rudeness didn't affect me. I've lived with it all my life. I sighed and sat down against his wall, looking up at him.

"Luke what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. He put his head into his hands, refusing to look at me.

"My mom just called me from work this morning. She said she was too afraid to tell me face to face, so she waited until fucking work. Like seriously?!" His voice raised slightly but calmed down after seeing my expression.

"What did she tell you..." I asked, afraid of his reply. He bit his lip and huffed his knees into his chest.

"I-im moving Paige." He whispered.

Have you ever felt like you might die from too much sadness at one time? Have you ever loved someone? Don't do it. Because they will leave you. Just like everyone does.

I was heartbroken.

I was shocked.

I was pissed.

"YOURE WHAT?! I DIDNT EVEN GET TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL LUKE AND NOW I CANT BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. EVER! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. THE ONE PERSON THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE THERE WITH ME FOREVER. THAT ONE PERSON THAT I ACTUALLY TRUSTED IS LEAVING ME?! SO IS THIS MY LIFE NOW? I TRUSTED MY MOM. BUT SHE ENDED UP LEAVING. I LOVED MY SISTER, BUT SHE LEFT ME TOO. MY DAD TOLD ME HE'D BE THERE FOR MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY BUT WHERE WAS HE? AT A FUCKING BAR." My breathing calmed down as I looked at Luke's broken expression. My voice turned to a whisper as I rested my head on the wall, looking down at the ground.

"and now... that one boy that I actually thought would be there to stay. He's just gonna be... gone." My last word came out as a mutter, but Luke heard it. He clenched his hands into a fist and stood up, walking to the door. He slammed it shut and faced the wall.

"FUCK!" He screamed. His fist slammed into the wall he was facing over and over again. He was screaming in between each punch.

"I" *punch* "FUCKING" *punch* "TRIED!" *punch*. His breathing slowed down as his words turned into regret.

"Paige I tried. She wouldn't change her mind I- I" he placed his head into his hands and screamed once more.

"Please don't think of it like that I- I will always be there Paige. Nothing will change between us okay?"

"You're telling yourself that but you know you're wrong." He slammed his hand on his desk and looked down at me.

"We have one month. One month to do whatever the fuck we want. I'm not holding back. I have one month to prove to you that I'm still here. I want this next month to be perfect so that I can look back at us Paige. So I can think back to the time when I was actually happy. I will never forget you, Paige. Never. And I want to make sure I don't forget. So we're going to have the best month of our life. Because I love you. And I want to leave knowing that you won't forget me either." My breathing hitched. He loves me?

"You... love me?" I whispered.

He walked over to me and sat down beside me.

"I'm in love with you. Everything about you." I looked down into his hand and grabbed it, bringing it up to my lips. Maybe Luke was right. Maybe it was going to be okay. No matter how bad it hurt. I placed my lips on his knuckles, kissing them slightly.

"I love you too." He let out a breath that I could tell he was holding in and placed his lips on top of my head. He had no idea how long I've been waiting to say that. I love him.

A/N

WOWZA WOWZA WOWZA #CRYING