For Him

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He knows that he will never be the perfect boyfriend for me. Sometimes he is so impatient with me. Sometimes he loses his temper. Sometimes he becomes immature, but he is really doing his best to make me happy. He does his best to make me feel secure. He makes sure to understand me every single time most especially during my hormonal days. He makes me laugh with his corny jokes. He buys me food and he will be there in a heart beat if I need him.

He knows that anything can happen in our relationship, but he is so thankful to have me. He really appreciates me being a part of his life. He just wants the best for me . He does know what the future holds, but he really wants me  to be his last. He just wants me  to be the best version of myself when I am so down and depressed.

To the man who is brave enough to love me and will never give up on me.

I am writing this letter in the hope that in the future, when it's God's perfect time you'll be able to read this. Let me start this by saying sorry, I'm sorry it won't be easy loving a girl like me who's mentally unstable. I'm sorry I am not the perfect girl you have always wanted.

I have my flaws, I make mistakes, I have insecurities, fears and weaknesses, I have scars on my body and on my heart, I have inner demons. I just hope you'd be able to accept them. I hope you'll love me with all my imperfections.

There will be times I am super sensitive, fragile and emotional please don't turn your back on me during these times. There will be times I would think I am not good enough but please tell me I am more than enough for you.

There will be times I would doubt you or your love for me but all you need to do is reassure and show me, let me know I'm the one you really love. There will also be times I would ignore you, your texts,chat, calls or even block you but please don't give up.

I can be annoying at times, I can be difficult and stubborn at times but never get tired and never give up on me.

I've been through a lot, there are times I am suicidal, and if that happens talk to me. Please don't laugh at me when I tell you I'm welcoming death and instead of thinking 'this girl is crazy' just Help me.

Stick by my side and love me not just on good times but also during the hard times. I hope you will also fall in love with the suicidal-depressed-anxious-clingy-possessive girl in me. I hope you'll held all the pieces of my broken self and still call me beautiful.

Spoil me and I will spoil you more. Love me and I will love you deeper.

I don't give up. I'll never give up. I can keep my promises so please keep yours also. I love hard and deeply. I love selflessly and unconditionally.

Cherish me, I'm worth it and give me the Love I deserve.

I'm difficult to love.
I'm your typical girl that has mood swings every now and then. I may start a trivial fight with you even with no apparent reason, but please know that I would only do that just because I want you to hug me and get butterflies in my stomach as you whisper how much you love me.

I easily get jealous. I can become so unreasonably jealous when I feel like other girls can make you smile as much as I can just because I'm scared of the thought that everyone else can make you equally happy even on my absence. So please secure my mind and let me feel that whenever I'm not around, you always look forward to be beside me.

I'm selfish, baby. I'm selfish when it comes to you. I'd like to have your undivided attention whenever you're with me. I might take your phone away from you, sit on your lap and kiss you senseless on your lips so that the next time you'll be on your phone, you'll only remember how I took you breath away for God knows how long.

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